SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A 35-year-old man from Jacksonville, Fla., was charged Tuesday with 26 counts of cyber-related crimes for hacking. The suspect was arrested on October 12 by federal agents after an 11-month investigation. His victims include Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, Christina Aguilera, and additional people identified only by the initials B.P., J.A., L.B., L.S., D.F. and B.G. Because of the explicit nature of the photographs, authorities worry that the unnamed celebrities may turn out to be Beth Grant, J.J. Abrams, Larry David, Laura San Giacomo, Dave Foley and Brad Garrett. “If nude pictures of these individuals leaked to the press, I can’t imagine the extent of the damage. I’d say half of the American public would need some sort of grief counselling or PTSD treatment,” one FBI official said.

LONDON, U.K.. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Parliament released new documents Tuesday that contradicted the testimony given to lawmakers last month by James Murdoch about News International’s role in the now infamous phone hacking scandal. During the hearing, Murdoch had denied that he knew of an email that included transcripts of 35 hacked conversations, but a former lawyer for News International named Tom Crone asserted that Murdoch was indeed aware of the electronic correspondence. “I have no doubt,” Crone’s letter read, “that I informed Mr. Murdoch of its existence, what it was and where it came from.” Given the obsessive and controlling management style attributed to Rupert Murdoch -- James Murdoch’s father and head of News International -- the revelation of this new evidence would seem to imply that the Murdochs were cognizant of and complicit in the illegal activities.

But in an intriguing turn of events, a day that threatened to impugn Rupert Murdoch’s reputation for ethics and integrity was turned around by news of his heroism, after London police reported that the octogenarian news mogul was responsible for saving the life of a drowning infant.