BREAKING NEWS

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Romney Issued Storm Preparedness Tips, Criticized President for Abandoning Duties During Sandy

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Millions of Americans along the eastern seaboard are facing long days ahead without power or public transit in the devastating wake of superstorm Sandy. Worse still, the death toll has now risen to 39. Sandy has interrupted all facets of life for over eight million residents, but its effects can be felt by a much broader swath of the country. With just a week left before people head to the polls, the election has also been hobbled by the megastorm. President Barack Obama suspended his campaign to take charge of disaster relief efforts, putting the welfare of the nation before political ambitions. His challenger, however, sees things differently. Romney attacked his opponent for several failures in leadership during the disaster. "President Obama abandoned the campaign -- the American people -- to hole up in his big house. Former FEMA chief Mike Brown criticized him for reacting too quickly to the storm, and the president failed to provide those in Sandy's path with meaningful advice for preparations," Romney told an audience in Ohio. "I didn't do any of those things. I stayed on the campaign trail instead of worrying about the weather, I didn't react to the storm, and my campaign issued a list of useful tips for dealing with Sandy. That's why I should be elected in November."

Romney Says Obama's Suspension of Campaign Indicates Lack of Interest in Leadership or Second Term in Office
With mere days left to address voters, both candidates had planned tours of key battleground states. Romney kept his promise by attending an event in Ohio. President Obama dispatched close ally Bill Clinton to Colorado in his stead.

"When the nation's largest city and even its capital are endangered, when so many people are in peril and face deprivation, it's hard to get back to arguing over taxes," said historian and presidential biographer Douglas Brinkley.

Romney disagreed with Brinkley's "biased" assessment.

"There's a reason my polling numbers skyrocketed in Ohio -- a critical state," Romney said. "Because I cared enough about running this country to be there. Where was the president? You could make the case that he gave up. He stopped his campaign, which shows me he's not serious about a second term -- about leading the nation. Instead, Mr. Obama chose to micromanage relief efforts his appointees should've been handling. Perhaps this is his pathetic attempt at closure -- at still pretending he's president -- before the American people break up with him."

Although endowed with no authority over public agencies whatsoever, Romney refused to cede control of the situation to Obama. He spoke by phone to Deputy FEMA Administrator Richard Serino, officials from the Homeland Security Department, and the National Weather Service. All of the agencies referred him to the Weather Channel.

Romney's Tips for Storm Preparedness
Mitt Romney also seized the opportunity in Ohio to discuss his expertise in emergency management. His campaign offices published a list of storm survival tips, similar to those he issued during Katrina as governor of Massachusetts, prior to Sandy making landfall. Romney derided the president for offering the public less detailed advice.
  1. Make sure you ship your dressage horses to stables in western states.
  2. If you keep your Cadillacs and Bentleys in your garage, be sure to elevate them on their car lifts.
  3. Offer your domestics a bonus to keep them in your estate. They will be tempted to go home to their own families, leaving you with clean up, cooking, and maintenance chores.
  4. Be sure to refuel each of your diesel generators.
  5. Order your captain to pilot the yacht(s) out to calm waters.
  6. Call your broker and make appropriate adjustments to your stocks, depending on how the storm may affect your investments.
  7. Buy three to four extra iPhones in case you are without power and cannot charge your batteries.
  8. Prepare a menu and hire a catering company to provide at least a week's worth of meals.
  9. Be sure to coordinate similar efforts with the groundskeepers of all your properties in affected areas.


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