SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Authorities in New Orleans escalated emergency procedures Monday as Tropical Storm Isaac barreled toward the Gulf Coast, on track to becoming a full-fledged hurricane. The menacing storm threatens to unleash serious flooding throughout the region on the seventh anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Meteorologists predict Isaac to make landfall on Tuesday or Wednesday. Not only have refineries closed and evacuation preparations begun, the storm has also impacted the Republican National Convention in Florida. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, scheduled to sing the praises of Mitt Romney at the RNC gathering, had to cancel his trip. And just seconds after declaring the festivities under way, GOP chairman Reince Priebus closed the session, which threw conservative Christian Republicans into a state of panic from the resulting crisis of faith. "Our religious leaders, people like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell and Rush Limbaugh, understood that catastrophes such as this are sent by God to punish sinners," a distraught Paul Ryan said. To appease the vengeful deity, GOP delegates are now contemplating desperate actions.

Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the surface of the moon, has died at the age of 82.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Since the early 2000s, Walmart executives, shareholders and Wall Street investors have worried about living conditions in third world countries. "Like all large companies that rely on manufacturing and distribution, Walmart has focused heavily on issues of human rights, forced labor and health factors," said Len Waybill, head economist for the conservative Peter Pinguid Society. "If a developing nation's environment turns inhospitable, the vital supply of child workers dwindles to unsustainable levels. That drives up the cost of goods, and could subsequently destroy Walmart margins and the value of its stock -- an unthinkable, apocalyptic scenario." On Thursday, those fears became a reality after a study conducted by Medicine sans Frontier (MSF) found child mortality rates in South Sudan far surpassing emergency levels for the region.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- With the Labor Day holiday fast approaching, along with the travel that generally accompanies it, American consumers seem certain to focus on the recent spike in gasoline prices, which had subsided after a national average peak of $3.49 per gallon in April but rose again Monday to $3.72 a gallon. For those living in California -- a state that consistently outpaces the nation in higher gas prices -- the news is worse. Chevron's Richmond refinery fire over a week ago signaled a 40-cent increase at the pumps for the Golden State's motorists. California now averages $4.10 per gallon. Concerns over the economic impact of the climbing rates have prompted President Obama to consider releasing oil reserves from U.S. stockpiles to alleviate the pinch on consumers, particularly important during an election year. However, a new Reuters/Ipsos poll published Tuesday indicates that soaring gas prices ranked last in the top 10 factors likely to influence voters this November.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Officials in Washington D.C. evacuated the Hirshhorn Museum at the Smithsonian Monday after a guard was discovered dead. Investigators determined the cause of death to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Representatives from the Smithsonian Institute told police the guard killed himself with his service revolver in the locker room located in the basement of the facility. The suicide is believed to have taken place around 3:00 p.m. EDT. Apart from museum officials, no one from the public witnessed the incident and no other parties were injured or involved. The guard's name has been withheld from the press. Although the victim left no suicide note or indication of his motives, co-workers on the graveyard shift admitted the "disturbing" environment was driving them to consider similar actions. All have reported suffering recently from abnormal amounts of stress, which has sometimes led to hallucinations that the exhibits come alive.