BREAKING NEWS

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Rare San Francisco Snow and Newspaper Misprints Attract Gangs to City

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. -- Below average temperatures and powerful winter storms brought a rare snowfall to the City by the Bay this weekend. High elevations in San Francisco saw dustings of snow late Friday, marking the first time flakes have fallen since 1976, when Harvey Milk’s Gay Day Parade and Elvis Presley’s appearance at the Cow Palace brought masses of unwashed, dandruff-ridden hippies to the area.

However, police are warning gleeful residents to exercise caution before taking to the icy streets in celebration. Misprints and humorous headlines in several local papers, although well intentioned, have unwittingly attracted gangs to the city.

One paper ran the headline “City Powders its Nose after Finding Surprise Shipment of Fresh Snow.” A second paper announced that the city’s mayor was “seen openly pushing snow.” And another referred to the powder on the ground as “Jack Frost’s Nose Candy.” The humor was lost on several gangs from nearby Oakland, who infiltrated metropolitan areas of the city Saturday to appraise the “street value” of the snow, according to police intelligence.

Residents should avoid suspicious looking individuals or groups of people in gang attire who are either snorting snow directly off the ground or packaging it in baggies to sell.

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