SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The peace of a sleepy winter Sunday in Quebec was jarred by gunfire when Alexandre Bissonnette, 27, walked into a mosque and unleashed a hail of bullets. Six people were killed and eight injured. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau branded the tragedy an act of terrorism. As the New York Times reported, “The shooting was the first time anyone had been killed in a mosque in Canada in such circumstances and was, at least in recent times, a rare event outside the Muslim world.” Bissonnette, according to former classmates, was a far-right, anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant and anti-feminist white supremacist who was enthralled with U.S. President Donald Trump. In honoring his commitment to protect Americans from terrorists, Trump expanded his travel ban on Tuesday to include all white, radical, foreign Trump supporters until “we figure out what the hell is going on.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- If offered a two-for-one deal at Trump Tower Grille, most reasonable people would pass on the prospect of receiving another gristly pool of amorphous, moldering gravy drowning an unknown substance resembling a human thumb. But if the deal involved taking away two Trump Grille menu items and reducing the punishment to only one entree, the disgust factor would be lessened. This is Trump’s logic in passing a new two-for-one points system -- a sort of Weight Watchers approach to cutting the nation’s regulatory fat, but with the sickly long-term damage of the Atkins Diet.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- President Donald Trump struck a more cordial and subdued tone during his first official White House press conference this Friday. The meeting was a noticeable departure from the fraught and antagonistic inaugural briefing that took place on January 12. As CNN discovered, the new president is obsessed with his image, and watches countless hours of cable news to gauge unfavorable media reactions to his demeanor. But Trump approached the latest gathering in a less confrontational and more agreeable manner. Rather than arguing the merits of a taxpayer-subsidized wall along the Mexico border, repealing civil rights and expanding his hotel empire, Trump chose warmer topics that resonated with his base: torture, banning immigration and the mass exodus of communists for the Chinese New Year.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Donald Trump campaigned on many controversial commitments, which he seems intent on fulfilling through a sweeping series of executive orders. During his first week in office, Trump has penned actions to loosen Affordable Care Act provisions, create a Muslim registry, authorize construction of a wall along the Mexico border, declare martial law on Chicago and eliminate “sanctuary cities,” the latter of which elicited a bizarre response from the president: “I’ve seen ‘Logan’s Run’ on TV a million times; I love the idea of Carousel, maybe adding Muslims to the list, but sanctuary is a terrible lie. Why force taxpayers to fund a myth? You know, that D.C. hasn’t crumbled into ruins?” While some orders seem dubious to enforce, Trump’s gutting of environmental protections could come to fruition. Unlike the repeal of Obamacare, the president did offer a replacement -- a “climate-friendly energy plan” that he said would create jobs, restore a dying industry and provide low income families with affordable fuel: clean burning whale oil.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- President Donald Trump has become the accepted master of social media. In fact, he has made the bold and unprecedented decision to serve as his own press corps, transferring the outdated platform to Twitter. The job of White House correspondents is to report on the president’s decisions and activities. Trump astutely recognizes that no individual is better equipped to perform that task than the commander-in-chief himself. However, he also understands firsthand the dangers that a free and open Internet have unleashed in this time of American carnage. “The real peril is uncensored access to vast amounts of information and facts, which are killing the economy and thwarting governmental efforts to keep people on the right path,” Kellyanne Conway said. She called Trump’s appointment of Ajit Pai as FCC chairman an essential step toward progress. Pai has already vowed to take a “weed whacker” to the electric communism of net neutrality, ending the free flow of fake news that is destroying the nation and undermining the alternative facts Americans need.