Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Meet Martin Shkreli, the Drug Boss Who Raised the Price of a Pill 5000%

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- So-called “wunderkind” Martin Shkreli, a 32-year-old hedge fund manager, was already a controversial and polarizing figure in the world of pharmaceuticals. His deranged antics against a former employee became a social media and legal horror show a few years ago. And Monday, Shkreli stunned the nation up to its highest levels when he led his company, Turing Pharmaceuticals, to raise the price of a life-saving drug by more than 5,000 percent. Despite the public outcry and swift responses from Democrats like Hillary Clinton, Shkreli has become a GOP darling overnight. But who is this enigmatic, pitiless and depraved young cutthroat?

Monday, September 21, 2015

Scott Walker Drops Presidential Bid Citing Conflict of Interest: “I’d Have to Uphold the Institutions I’m Trying to Destroy”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker withdrew from the 2016 Republican presidential race Monday citing a serious conflict interest. “Today I believe that I am being called to lead by helping to clear the field in this race,” Walker said, announcing that he would be suspending his vapid campaign indefinitely. Chief among the polarizing governor’s concerns was learning that he would be expected to uphold many of the institutions and issues he’s spent his entire political career attempting to destroy.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Talk Like a Pirate Day Draws SWAT Response When Pranksters Invade Area Krispy Kreme as Somali Raiders

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- September 19 celebrates the swashbuckling spirit of high-seas adventures each year as International Talk Like a Pirate Day. For millions of scoundrels and fo’c’sle swabs, that means donning eyepatches, 17th century frock coats, ornate tricorn hats, plastic hooks and cutlasses, and pledging allegiance to the skull and crossbones of a Jolly Roger. Several businesses partake of the festivities, too. This Saturday, the popular doughnut chain Krispy Kreme is offering a free glazed treat to any landlubber willing to order in the parlance of Blackbeard or Long John Silver. For truly scurvy wenches, scallywags and blackguards who arrive adorned in full pirate garb, Krispy Kreme surrenders a bounty of a dozen doughnuts. However, panic erupted near San Narciso’s waterfront district this morning when hardcore enthusiasts raided the usually low-key bakery and coffeehouse dressed as armed Somali pirates.

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