The Bennington Vale Evening Transcript

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Eight members of the Congressional Bi-Partisan Privacy Caucus published an open letter to Google CEO Larry Page on Monday to address privacy concerns with the company's smartphone-like eyeglasses, Google Glass. Currently, a few thousand software developers, early adopters and hand-selected beta testers are putting the new technology through its paces. But the device's ability to record anything the user sees and hears, ostensibly without notice, leaves digital privacy and etiquette advocates apprehensive. Lawmakers are requesting Page to outline Google's plan for incorporating privacy protections into the device by mid-June. Google, however, is not being singled out, although its product has become the catalyst for these investigations, lawmakers admitted. They are also launching congressional probes into the manufacturers of older devices, the most controversial being the maker of X-Ray Specs, a popular American novelty item from the 1960s that allows wearers to see through structures, skin and women's clothing, according to ads.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- As new details emerge about the Justice Department's unsettling encroachment on the freedom of the press, which involved secret searches of electronic records belonging to Associated Press (A.P.) employees, the more dubious and overblown the government's rationale appears. In fact, The A.P. and the Obama administration had discussed the piece in question prior to its publication, although The A.P. broke the story a day before the White House planned an official announcement. "Any details about potential disasters, terrorism or government operations that make their way to the American people before proper scrutiny and validation are considered potential risks to life and limb," Attorney General Eric Holder said. On Wednesday, after what administration insiders described as an acute panic attack, an increasingly paranoid Holder seized all the records from Wikipedia, Britannica Online, countless personal blogs and three publishing houses that sell the writings of Nostradamus.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- LinkedIn, the prominent social network aimed at working professionals, updated its user agreement Monday and added a provision banning subscribers from soliciting or offering services deemed prostitution. Under a section entitled "Don't undertake the following," LinkedIn admonished its members not to "upload, post, email, InMail, transmit or otherwise make available or initiate any content that: Even if it is legal where you are located, create profiles or provide content that promotes escort services or prostitution." In what company representatives called an unrelated coincidence, nearly all male members of Congress dropped their LinkedIn accounts, stating they no longer found value in the service. Agents from the U.S. Secret Service also reportedly canceled their subscriptions on Monday, citing similar reasons.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Archaeologists disclosed on May 1 that they had discovered the first conclusive evidence to support theories that settlers in the Jamestown, Va., colony resorted to cannibalism. Historians throughout the years have speculated that America's early colonists turned to this gruesome practice as a way to survive harsh conditions given the scarcity of resources in the New World. But recent findings from scientists at San Narciso College suggest cannibalism may have been practiced more routinely as a means to cure homosexuality -- not as a desperate attempt to fight starvation. "Considering the almost non-existent references to gays in colony annals, Jamestown may have been onto something," said Dr. Welles Snarling, the project leader and head of the university's School of Religious Anthropology.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Despite recent massacres, heated political rhetoric and calls to action, gun-related violence in the United States continues to escalate. Advocates for stricter regulations cite this disturbing trend as proof that more controls are needed to curb the threat. Those in favor of abolishing all limitations on weapons ownership point to the same trend as evidence that more people need access to military grade assault weapons to protect themselves from the swelling menace, echoing the National Rifle Association's (NRA) assertion that only "good guys with guns can stop bad guys with guns." But the dynamics of the debate changed in April with the gruesome advent of four- and five-year-old shooters. Conservative lawmakers, backed by the NRA, are now demanding compulsory gun ownership for any child over the age of two, whose parents are legal residents of the United States.