OP-ED: WHY AMERICA'S FREE MARKET AND FREE PEOPLE NEED MORE GUN VIOLENCE
By: F. Chester Greene
F. Chester Greene is a prominent local businessman, Republican Party leader, community leader, NRA member and 2016 write-in presidential candidate
Just as that sad mountebank Bernie Sanders caravans across America to exploit the outraged victims of Wall Street corruption for political gain -- a cheap sort of demagoguery he uses to bilk thousands of teachers out of tens of dollars to support his campaign (which I believe is a conspiratorial attempt at Zionist indoctrination) -- so too is the president exploiting the violence that rocked a rural Oregon college to push his anti-violence agenda. As a successful and hard-working businessman myself, I get sick and tired of weathering this administration’s attacks on capitalism. Big business runs this country. And guns -- combined with gun-related fatalities -- are very big business. But our commander in chief wants to erase the “free” in free market while, with the same vicious pen stroke, scratching out the “Blessings of Liberty” from the preamble of the Constitution.
EDITORIAL ON MASS SHOOTINGS IN AMERICA
Bennington Vale Evening Transcript, San Narciso, Calif.
By: BC Bass
After years of mass shootings, I have become exhausted. Too exhausted, even, to try and recount the tragedy that befell Umpqua College Thursday morning. So I want to talk about something else. Take a different approach. Halloween’s just around the corner; why don’t we discuss monsters? We look on the perpetrators of these senseless slaughters as monsters. And they truly are. The word monster derives from the Latin monstrum, which originates from the root monere, which is where we also get the word “admonish.” They all define a warning or portent. That’s what monsters are. Warnings. Alarms alerting us to some terrible shit coming down the pike.
SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- So-called “wunderkind” Martin Shkreli, a 32-year-old hedge fund manager, was already a controversial and polarizing figure in the world of pharmaceuticals. His deranged antics against a former employee became a social media and legal horror show a few years ago. And Monday, Shkreli stunned the nation up to its highest levels when he led his company, Turing Pharmaceuticals, to raise the price of a life-saving drug by more than 5,000 percent. Despite the public outcry and swift responses from Democrats like Hillary Clinton, Shkreli has become a GOP darling overnight. But who is this enigmatic, pitiless and depraved young cutthroat?
Scott Walker Drops Presidential Bid Citing Conflict of Interest: “I’d Have to Uphold the Institutions I’m Trying to Destroy”
SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker withdrew from the 2016 Republican presidential race Monday citing a serious conflict interest. “Today I believe that I am being called to lead by helping to clear the field in this race,” Walker said, announcing that he would be suspending his vapid campaign indefinitely. Chief among the polarizing governor’s concerns was learning that he would be expected to uphold many of the institutions and issues he’s spent his entire political career attempting to destroy.
Talk Like a Pirate Day Draws SWAT Response When Pranksters Invade Area Krispy Kreme as Somali Raiders
SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- September 19 celebrates the swashbuckling spirit of high-seas adventures each year as International Talk Like a Pirate Day. For millions of scoundrels and fo’c’sle swabs, that means donning eyepatches, 17th century frock coats, ornate tricorn hats, plastic hooks and cutlasses, and pledging allegiance to the skull and crossbones of a Jolly Roger. Several businesses partake of the festivities, too. This Saturday, the popular doughnut chain Krispy Kreme is offering a free glazed treat to any landlubber willing to order in the parlance of Blackbeard or Long John Silver. For truly scurvy wenches, scallywags and blackguards who arrive adorned in full pirate garb, Krispy Kreme surrenders a bounty of a dozen doughnuts. However, panic erupted near San Narciso’s waterfront district this morning when hardcore enthusiasts raided the usually low-key bakery and coffeehouse dressed as armed Somali pirates.