BREAKING NEWS

Thursday, June 13, 2013

U.S. Condemns Slaughtering Dogs and Cats in China, Calls for End to Outsourcing


SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- When food is scarce, people in China engage in the socially acceptable practice of eating dogs as an emergency food source. But feasting on companion pets such as dogs is also a tradition dating back thousands of years. Dog meat is rich and particularly nice on cold days, say people who regularly partake of it in certain regions. The animals are also slaughtered for their hides, which capture a decent price when sold to markets in the country's fur industry. Animal rights advocates around the world have condemned the abuses. Now, legislators in the United States have voiced their disapproval of the Chinese government's complicity in the gruesome trade. "It's another example of unnecessary outsourcing to countries with cheap labor," said F. Chester Greene, a conservative politician and 2016 White House hopeful from California. "We need to stop China from continuing to take our jobs. There's no reason able-bodied Americans can't butcher pets and cook them up."

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Edward Snowden Exposes U.S. Government's Creation of Facebook as Data Collection Tool


SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Edward Snowden, the former Booz Allen Hamilton contractor whose work with the National Security Agency (NSA) provided him access to extremely classified U.S. intelligence, shocked the world when he exposed sensitive details about the Obama administration's warrantless wiretapping of private communications between innumerable U.S. citizens with no ties to terrorism. On Wednesday, the self-confessed leaker went on to allege that the U.S. government has also been undertaking enormous hacking operations against targets in China since 2009, part of more than 61,000 similar initiatives worldwide. But Snowden's revelations didn't end there. He rocked the boat again early Thursday morning from his self-imposed exile in Hong Kong when he showed the South China Morning Post evidence that Facebook was conceived as a government data collection tool, and that Mark Zuckerberg doesn't really exist.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Apple CEO Tim Cook Stages Desperate Seance at WWDC to Get Help from Steve Jobs


SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Apple Inc. kicked off its annual Worldwide Developer Conference on Monday in San Francisco, but despite unveiling some new products and a redesigned iOS (announcements that don't usually happen at this event), attendees confessed feeling underwhelmed. Many people said the keynote speech lacked substance, missed the standard "one more thing" surprise, and failed to deliver innovations targeted toward the community of developers. Some challenged that notion, but had only the death of Steve Jobs, Apple's founder and visionary, as an excuse. Attendees agreed the biggest problem was current CEO Tim Cook's "pathetic" whining about having no real direction anymore and his sad theatrics to convince developers that he was really Jobs incarnate, which included wearing Jobs' iconic black turtleneck and desperately staging a seance to plead with Jobs' spirit for help.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Florida Officials Defend Police Attack on Teen with Puppy, Citing State's Policy of Fearing All Black People

Tremaine McMillian. (Credit: WSVN-TV)
SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On May 30, Miami-Dade Police officers brutally wrestled 14-year-old Tremaine McMillan to the ground, pinning and choking the black teen who was armed only with a puppy. McMillan's mother recorded the aggressive response on her cell phone. Detective Alvaro Zabaleta justified the use of force, claiming that McMillan was exhibiting threatening body language, which included "dehumanizing stares" and "clenched fists." By all accounts, Tremaine was guilty of nothing more than feeding his puppy, a six-week-old Pit Bull mix named Polo, also injured in the tussle, and playing on the beach with friends. But according to Florida officials, McMillan's arrest provides yet another illustration of larger troubles plaguing the Sunshine State. "To put it bluntly, we're terrified of black people," the Florida GOP confessed Thursday in a press bulletin.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

"Game of Thrones" Author George R.R. Martin to Pen Children's Series: "Everyone You Care About Will Die...Horribly"

Photo courtesy Helen Sloan/HBO

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Although George R.R. Martin creates fantastically lush and detailed realms in his immense "A Song of Fire and Ice" series, a sprawling medieval epic set in the fictitious world of Westeros, the stories do not shy away from the gritty realities of life and death. Far more than sword and sorcery, "A Song of Fire and Ice" exposes readers to the complex, deadly geopolitics associated with empire building and conquest. But now Martin wants to bring his message of life, hard times, death and war to a younger audience. He announced on Tuesday plans to create a series of children's books that promises to "treat kids like the tough, intelligent beings they are and not lie to them about how the world really works." He has tentatively titled the new franchise "Everyone You Care About Will Die...Horribly...Butchered Before Your Sad Helpless Little Eyes."

 
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