Wednesday, April 11, 2012
George Zimmerman Will be Vindicated Say Lawyers Who No Longer Represent Him
Both Sonner and Uhrig have come under fire from critics for stepping into the center ring of the media circus when their actual representation of Zimmerman was never clear.
"It couldn't be anything more than a publicity stunt," one legal analyst told reporters. "At one point, Sonner and Uhrig compared Zimmerman to the victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome, a bizarre analogy. I suppose you could rationalize your way there if the nanny weighed 95 pounds and the baby tipped the scales at 200. For me, that's about as sensible as Jonathan Winters' Mearth character on 'Mork and Mindy.'"
Despite questioning their client's state of mind and admitting a problematic relationship with him, which caused them to abandon Zimmerman's defense this week, both lawyers stand by their assertion that Zimmerman committed no crime, upheld the provisions of Florida's "Stand Your Ground Law," and will have his name cleared.
Even more interesting, Sonner and Uhrig confessed that they had never met George Zimmerman in person. All communication between the parties occurred via email, texts and phone calls. When asked why, they said: "It just seemed safer that way. Rush Limbaugh put it best when he called George a little overzealous. He's clearly very excitable and heavily armed. He fears fruit-flavored candies, certain articles of clothing, sudden movements and the sounds of other people talking on phones. In a face-to-face interview, any little thing we did could have provoked George into perceiving some sort of threat and opening fire on the entire office. Our receptionists have candy dishes on their desks, the phones ring constantly, and in this weather some people come into work wearing hooded jackets. We weren't prepared to perish like lame horses in a hail of bullets. Of course, we also acknowledge that George would've had every legal right to slaughter us out of utter, incomprehensible fear for his safety."
(c) 2012. See disclaimers.