Tuesday, April 17, 2012

NRA Lobbies More States to Pass 'Stand Your Ground' to Create National Peace Through Fear

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- As George Zimmerman heads to trial on second-degree murder charges for the slaying of unarmed teen Trayvon Martin, Florida's "Stand Your Ground Law" becomes the center of a much larger national debate over gun rights. Murders in Florida have increased consistently since "Stand Your Ground" was implemented in 2005. The National Rifle Association says this is proof that more needs to be done to increase gun ownership. Only 25 states now have some form of "Stand Your Ground" on their books. The NRA has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to influential lawmakers in efforts to promote the restoration of Second Amendment freedoms. This type of legislation, its proponents say, protects individuals in an increasingly dangerous society by according them not only the right to open fire on any perceived threat, real or imagined, but also to walk away with complete immunity. To the victor go the spoils. But namby-pamby prosecutors and hippie activists in the deep pockets of Big-Peace are trying to stop the NRA from saving American lives.

"The 'Stand Your Ground' type laws are promoting aggression on both sides now," said California prosecutor Riley Muttersmilch. "The perceived assailants and the alleged victims are all claiming ground and trying to stand on it -- like a bunch of up-armored, delusional hillbilly homesteaders. This isn't a movement toward public safety, it's an endorsement for a consequence-free culture of vigilantism. It's going to create a frightened, paranoid, homicidal citizenry."

Surprisingly, the NRA agreed with Muttersmilch's assessment. Thorn Havershabe, head of the San Narciso County NRA chapter, said that "fear-mongering doesn't even begin to hint at the scope of this initiative. Cops make life and death judgments everyday on the streets. I think these are solemn decisions best left to the people involved, not government-paid nannies who show up in the middle of things. Our detractors are accusing us of spreading fear. We agree, that's the whole point. If I've got a gun and you've got a gun and your druggie teen has a gun, we're all scared s**tless for our lives. Will I get out this grocery store alive? Is that girl going to gut me for giving her a little whistle? Will the preacher pump a round of hollow-points into my skull if I don't put enough in the collection plate? Is racial profiling even a thing at this point? Who knows, but it keeps the nation on an even keel. It restores civility."

According to Havershabe, that's the key message in the concept of "nothing to fear but fear itself." A society perpetually frightened to provoke its citizens -- even mildly -- is a society that practices courtesy, self-governance and good driving: "In a culture of 'nothing to fear but fear itself,' that's all we have to be frightened of -- fear. So passing a federal law requiring people to carry loaded, concealed weapons also reduces the ridiculous amount of things we need to be afraid of to just one."

"Look at America in times of fear," Havershabe added. "We won World War II. We killed bin Landen. Why do folks look back on the 50s so fondly? Because of the class and panache and common decency and family values. And those things were made possible by the fear that the Soviets and the United States were going to nuke the hell out of other if somebody stepped out of line. It's like the ultimate Santa Claus, but with thermonuclear capabilities. Fear is a natural instinct in every animal -- it's what keeps them safe. But in times without fear, we get stupid and cocky. Then 9/11 happens. Or Barack Obama. Same difference -- a takeover by Muslim terrorists from another country."

(c) 2012. See disclaimers.