BREAKING NEWS
Showing posts with label bombing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bombing. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

CNN Admits Accessing AP Twitter Feed, Denies Hacking Allegations

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The main Twitter account of the Associated Press (AP) was compromised Tuesday when alleged hackers posted a tweet about an implied terrorist attack on the White House. The message said President Obama had sustained injuries after two explosions erupted from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The spurious tweet panicked Wall Street investors and briefly sent stocks tumbling. Shortly after the FBI opened an investigation into the incident, the Syrian Electronic Army (SEA) took credit for hijacking the news cooperative's accounts. Authorities, however, could not corroborate the SEA's claims. On Wednesday, embarrassed representatives from CNN admitted that they had accessed the Twitter feed to help the AP break an "important developing story from a variety of reliable sources." CNN denied accusations of hacking or intentionally reporting falsehoods.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Cuisinart and Home Depot Enjoy Sales Increases as Demand for Pressure Cooker Bombs Soars

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- As the contentious gun rights debate rages through the chambers of Congress, a fringe group of weapons owners worries that new regulations could stifle their Second Amendment freedoms. Aldous Farstly, chief executive officer for the National Organization of Bomb Smiths (NOBS), cautions his cadre of bomb enthusiasts to stockpile supplies before "socialist lawmakers" clamp down on retailers such as Home Depot, RadioShack and Sears, which provide key parts for homemade explosive devices. But in the race to strip store shelves of pressure cookers, nails and other impoverished shrapnel, NOBS members will have to compete with domestic terrorists who are joining the rush to assemble IEDs in the wake of the successful bombing attacks in Boston last week. For companies suffering through dwindling profits and forced closures, the influx of new business is a welcome relief.

Friday, April 19, 2013

CNN Names All Marathon Attendees and Spectators as Suspects in Boston Bombings

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Wednesday, amid a flurry of conflicting media reports, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) derided several press outlets for their unvetted, inaccurate, and conjecture-based reporting of suspects in custody. The New York Post, Fox News, and CNN all claimed that individuals connected with the bombings had been arrested or held for questioning. The Post infamously crossed a line when it wrote that a 20-year-old Saudi national had been detained, seemingly without any proof beyond a random photograph and a bystander's comment. Every allegation published was refuted by investigators, with the Boston police commissioner clarifying that nobody was in custody at that time. After walking back many of its claims, CNN attempted to defend the press on Friday, blaming the confusion on the unprecedented volume of photos and videos submitted by everyday folks, who now serve as the network's primary reporting sources. And in the interest of responsible journalism, CNN then named all 100,000 plus attendees at the event as suspects in the case.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Embarrassed Terror Groups Shamefully Admit No Connection to Boston Attacks

Confused Taliban fighter (AP)
SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Federal investigators continue to sift through an overabundance of photographic and video footage, conflicting media reports, and dead-end leads in their frustrating search to identify suspects linked to the bombings that devastated Boston on Monday. Intelligence chatter intercepted no insinuations or threats beforehand, which experts deemed unusual. Those responsible for detonating the explosive devices, made from pressure cookers and other household items, have stayed atypically silent. Traditionally, such actions would be attributed to militant outfits whose members would boast of their attacks. But the world's foremost terror groups begrudgingly denied any involvement in the plots, confessing only their embarrassment at being "shown up." Dozens of insurgents throughout the Middle East reportedly committed suicide after the announcements, unable to live with the shame.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

NRA Says Boston Bombings Could Have Been Prevented if Marathon Were Biathlon

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Given the high alerts, enhanced security, and police presence at the 238th Boston Marathon, would anything have foiled the bomber who executed Monday's attacks and escaped undetected? According to a Southern California branch of the National Rifle Association (NRA), gun-toting athletes and responsible bomb owners could have deterred or prevented the tragedy. Conservatives embroiled in the ongoing gun rights debate emphasized that the hostilities in Boston reiterated the need for a heavily armed citizenry. Thorn Havershabe, head of the San Narciso County chapter of the NRA -- backed by local conservative politician F. Chester Greene -- urged lawmakers on Tuesday to enforce mandatory weapons ownership and carrying policies, extending to explosives. "Only good guys with bombs can stop bad guys with bombs," Havershabe tweeted. He also called on organizers to restructure the Boston Marathon and similar events into biathlons that would equip participants with high-powered rifles.

 
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