OP-ED (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Today, March 2, commemorates the 108th birthday of literary genius Theodore Geisel, known to generations of young readers as Dr. Seuss. So where's the Google Doodle honoring the legacy of this great American? I opened my browser today and saw only the standard Google home page. I suppose because Seuss was considered a raving liberal, Corporate America and its overlords decided to give the good doctor a pass today. As perhaps the only Democrat in San Narciso County, I certainly know how that feels. I can't even get a bus ticket in this town without an interrogation about my destination, my reasons for traveling, or who I'm meeting once I get there. But no, I'm not going to equate these uncomfortable inspections to a trip through East Berlin's Checkpoint Charlie. The treatment I receive in San Narciso's much worse, because the scrutiny is being instituted by businesses. Think of writing a check at Radio Shack, and you'll understand the life of a progressive in this eugenic Stepford community.

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With Judgment Day nearly upon us, Google has created a very special Doodle -- the last of its kind -- to commemorate its successes and loyal user community. A company spokesperson said, "It's hard to believe we must part so soon, but search for us in Heaven. We're not sure about access to technology in the sweet hereafter, but we're confident that voice and image searches can still be conducted. We thank you all. By having access to your data, we feel that we've really gotten to know you intimately...perhaps better than your own families. You will be missed. Rest assured, we never sold any of your search information to marketing companies. Good luck in Hell, Facebook."

(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- Thursday marked the 137th birthday of legendary magician and escape artist Harry Houdini. To commemorate the one of the world’s most influential illusionists, Google released a special doodle on its homepage, reminiscent of the posters Houdini had used to promote his act during the early 20th century. Google has made headlines for its recent doodles, including an interactive undersea-themed graphic honoring author Jules Verne, 17 holiday-themed doodles that progressed through two days in December, and a playable Pac-Man doodle that celebrated the anniversary of the video game’s creation. It came as some surprise, then, that the Houdini doodle was little more than a static image. But a gaming expert in San Narciso County says that everyone in the United States missed the joke -- that a clever attempt to reveal the secret of the poster, essentially allowing “Houdini to escape,” would have caused the image to animate.

OP ED -- Today, March 2, commemorates the 107th birthday of literary genius Theodore Geisel, known to generations of young readers as Dr. Seuss. So where’s the Google Doodle honoring the legacy of this great American? I opened my browser today and saw only the standard Google home page. I suppose that because Seuss was considered a raving liberal, Corporate America and its overlords have decided to give the good doctor a pass today. As perhaps the only Democrat in San Narciso County, I certainly know how that feels. I can’t even get a bus ticket in this town without an interrogation about my destination, my reasons for traveling, or who I’m meeting once I get there. But no, I’m not going to equate these uncomfortable inspections to a trip through East Berlin’s Checkpoint Charlie. The treatment I receive in San Narciso’s much worse, because the scrutiny is being instituted by businesses. Think of writing a check at Radio Shack, and you’ll understand the life of a progressive in this eugenic Stepford community.