SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The recent EpiPen scandal recounts a familiar and reprehensible tale of greed: a pharmaceutical company purchases a dated drug, boosts the price and, in the process, dismissively impedes patient access to medication. Over the past year, Martin Shkreli has served as the poster boy for this sort of unapologetic avarice. Now, exit Shkreli and enter Mylan, which hiked the price of its auto-injection devices by 400 percent. Mylan blamed the price increase on the costs of the pens -- the medicinal value of the drug inside amounting to only a handful of coins. Dubious as the claim may seem, it’s working. And other enterprises want to capitalize on this lucrative trend -- particularly Bic, which manufactures one of the most popular ballpoint pen brands. Echoing Mylan’s concerns about the soaring costs of materials and resources, Bic announced Monday that its writing instruments will now cost customers more than $50 a pack.

“Voters want a more idyllic world, like the one in the 1950s. And we’re committed to dragging this country back 60 years so they can have it.” ~ F. Chester Greene, San Narciso Tea Party Chairman

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- After Tuesday’s electoral sweep, the Republican Party took its place as America’s dominant political faction, controlling both chambers of Congress. The primary challenge confronting conservatives now is how to rectify the issues that led to rampant disillusionment among the nation’s voters. Remember, this is the first time since 2006 that the GOP has taken control of Congress, when they lost their majorities in the House and Senate during midterm elections that were marred by widespread discontentment over the failed policies of the Bush administration. Now, they have recaptured their claim on government through a similar sense of disaffection. Fixing the economy, Republicans believe, will lead to the restoration of the values and prosperity that fueled that nation’s past success. So their first order of business is to revive once thriving industries and they jobs they created, beginning with asbestos, lead and large-scale apparel manufacturing.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- According to the nation's retailers, frugality seemed to be theme this year among holiday shoppers. Despite offering aggressive discounts to entice consumers, with some sales events beginning on Thanksgiving evening, retailers found little more than coal in their stockings as their dismal year-end financial reports bore out analysts' bleak projections. Merchandisers are now hoping post-Christmas sales will help them salvage something from 2013's disappointing figures. A spokesperson for North Pole Distribution Operations Ltd. (NPDOL) said Santa Claus attributed the lion's share of the problem to a Target security breach that gave hackers access to over 40 million credit and debit cards.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A mentally ill Connecticut woman killed her two grandsons Tuesday afternoon and then turned the gun on herself, according to state police. Debra Denison, 47, suffered from bipolar disorder and other mental health problems. This tragedy, to many, further illustrates the link between a faulty mental health system and overly lenient regulations for owning and carrying firearms. They cite the countless shooting deaths that have marred American communities over the last several months. But Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association (NRA), stood by his controversial statement that preventing tragedies such as these requires more "good guys with guns." His talking points were repeated this week by Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) in a contentious senate hearing about reinstating assault rifle bans.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the nation's foremost conservative business lobby, announced on Thursday its annual ranking of the eight worst companies in America -- those organizations that consistently fail to embrace the true spirit of bottom-line capitalism. Why eight? Chamber leaders explained that rating ten employers is more expensive, wasteful, and inefficient. To make the prestigious list, a company must demonstrate its failure to seize opportunities for maximizing profit potential by refusing to cut corners, reduce overhead, eliminate employer-sponsored benefits and perks, replace full-time workers with temps or automation, and outsource jobs to foreign nations with cheap labor pools and abysmal records of human rights. "These are big name companies with big chips on their shoulders," said Len Waybill, head economist for the conservative Peter Pinguid Society. "The role of business is to keep growing, to keep making money, by any legal means necessary. Frankly, every company on the list is an embarrassment -- a monument to shame and anti-American values. I always find it strange that these same businesses end up on Fortune's 'Best Companies to Work For' list."