SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A chilling and emotionally fraught public service announcement (PSA) by Sandy Hook Promise, which debuted on the September 18 broadcast of Today, has haunted Americans since its airing with a jarring message about the perils facing students in an era where mass shootings have practically become normalized in their frequency and lackluster response by officials. The video opens much like those cheery back-to-school ads pushed by retailers during this time of year. Instead of voguing about campus with their cool new gear, however, the students descend into a nightmarish horrorscape, fleeing an unseen attacker as violence erupts around them. “It’s difficult to watch,” admitted National Rifle Association (NRA) leaders. “But not because of the anti-gun propaganda flagrantly basted over this turkey. If the purpose of our schools is to teach students how to survive the harsh realities of America, this video demonstrates just what a terrible job they’re doing.”

Officer Eric Casebolt bravely subdues unarmed, 100-lb black teen without shooting her to death.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A birthday pool party in the affluent Craig Ranch community of McKinney, Texas, erupted in chaos and violence early Friday evening amid accusations of police racism and brutality. The excessive actions of Corporal Eric Casebolt -- which included a lot of profanity, a James T. Kirk-inspired combat roll, tackling scantily clad girls in bikinis who were armed with only towels, and drawing his sidearm on bystanders attempting to peacefully diffuse the aggression -- renewed public outcry about the extreme use of force by police. But Republican lawmakers in the South see the situation differently. According to them, the fact that no unarmed black teens were actually blown to pieces by cops demonstrates “tremendous restraint and progress in the evolution of our peacekeeping policies.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- George Zimmerman, in a frightening change of circumstance, found himself on the business end of a pistol Monday. The incident occurred during a near-deadly bout of road rage, sparked when the former neighborhood watch volunteer waved a firearm at a man in another vehicle. The shooter, identified as Matthew Apperson, had previously had a run-in with Zimmerman back in September 2014. During that confrontation, Apperson suffered an unprovoked assault by Zimmerman, who accused him of shaking a finger at his truck. Perceiving the digit-wagging as a grave threat to his life -- one perhaps more perilous than an unarmed black teenager brandishing Skittles and iced tea -- Zimmerman cautioned the would-be assailant that he would “f***ing kill” him. This event, one in a growing string of encounters with police, reveals a more complex view of Florida’s Stand Your Ground law than the media portrayed during the Trayvon Martin hearings: mainly that someone as paranoid and terrified of everything as George Zimmerman needs “shoot-first” type protections.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Tuesday, authorities in South Carolina announced that a 33-year-old police officer will face murder charges for the shooting death of an unarmed black man during a routine traffic stop. North Charleston Officer Michael Slager gunned down Walter Scott, 50, as he ran from the policeman’s drawn pistol. Video of the confrontation, captured by a bystander near the scene, clearly shows that the officer pumped at least eight rounds into Scott’s back. He then cuffed the hands of the corpse. Seizing the opportunity to divert attention away from recent controversies, relieved Republican lawmakers said the South Carolina tragedy settles a longstanding debate on the contentious topic of civil rights: uptight, conservative white people are still more afraid of unarmed black men than gays.

"Had the firing range instructor been armed, he could easily have put down the girl before she had the opportunity to harm him or others nearby." -- NRA VP Wayne LaPierre

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Following nearly a week of exhaustive research into the accidental shooting death of an Arizona firing-range instructor by a nine-year-old girl armed with an Uzi, investigators with the public safety wing of the National Rifle Association (NRA) have reached a new conclusion on the cause of gun-related killings. “Guns don’t kill people,” NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre stated. “Not having guns kills people.” On Thursday, the NRA presented a detailed report about the incident, drawing the conclusion that the instructor could have prevented his demise if he had also been carrying a gun.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The August 9 fatal shooting of unarmed 18-year-old Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo., has revived the national debate on how to deal with African American youth who brandish convenience store items defiantly before authority figures -- Caucasian males with permits to carry firearms. The killing of Brown by police officer Darren Wilson has fueled protests, riots and a renewed focus on the ongoing crisis of race relations in the United States. Because there are at least seven known black households within San Narciso County, the mayor’s office has collaborated with local police and the National Rifle Association (NRA) to issue a list of threatening behaviors and potentially dangerous convenience store purchases to avoid for all unarmed, dark-skinned teenagers. “We strongly urge those in the target demographic to study these tips closely in order to safeguard their well-being during this heightened state of alert,” advised Mayor Manny DiPresso.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- As the nation prepares to commemorate the anniversary of the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conn., where 20 children were murdered by gunman Adam Lanza, a student at a Colorado high school opened fire on campus Friday, allegedly seeking to confront a particular teacher. NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre has been tirelessly pressing lawmakers to stop tightening the screws on gun owners, noting that the fear of weapons bans and spartan restrictions have hobbled responsible owners. Today, his dire warnings came to pass again as a pupil at Arapahoe High School in Centennial, Colo., shot two students and then killed himself, according to officials. "We have offered proven remedies, but all are met with unreasonable new laws that take guns away from people who can protect their loved ones," LaPierre said. "And so many of these killings seem to arise from interpersonal disputes, as we saw in Colorado today. Instead of weakening our Constitutional rights by banning weapons, we propose reinstating a tried-and-true American institution, embraced by our Founders, with well documented successes in conflict resolution: the duel."

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Monday, a military veteran working as a civilian contractor opened fire at the Washington Navy Yard, killing 12 people. The incident, one of several mass shootings over the last 24 months, set off waves of panic at the military installation, which sits just a few miles from the steps of the Capitol. FBI agents identified the shooter as 34-year-old Aaron Alexis, a former Navy Reservist from Fort Worth, Texas. Although Alexis had passed a background check in Virginia to purchase his weapon, his discharge paperwork illustrated a past history of gun-related trouble with authorities. Conservative lawmakers, officials with the National Rifle Association (NRA) and leaders of Gun Owners of America expressed outrage at the massacre, demanding to know why trained soldiers were unarmed within the walls of an Armed Forces facility. "We allowed our troops to be picked off like sitting ducks," one exasperated NRA representative told reporters.