SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- According to newly leaked documents from Edward Snowden, a British intelligence agency collected millions of images from the webcam chats of Yahoo users, with much of the footage containing sexually explicit content. Britain’s Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) operated the surveillance program, code named Optic Nerve, which targeted users whether they were suspected of illicit activities or not. Just as the NSA’s domestic spying program in the United States demonstrated the astounding potential of a government-run social network -- rivaling any initiatives undertaken by Facebook or Google -- Optic Nerve is showing how public sector adult film productions can provide the highest quality porn, practically for free. The news has investors scrambling to cash in on what analysts are calling the “penultimate realization of gonzo and reality porn.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who famously returned to work just two weeks after giving birth to her son, made news again Monday by issuing an edict that ends the company's telecommuting policies. The memo sent by Jackie Reses, Yahoo's human resources director, ordered employees who work remotely to return to their physical office locations or quit. The Internet pioneer's announcement told workers that "being at Yahoo isn't just about your day-to-day job, it is about the interactions and experiences that are only possible in our offices." It also reminded those employees that social networking, instant messaging and other electronic communications have actually stifled interpersonal relationships, and serve to alienate people from meaningful exchanges.

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. -- Just in time for the holidays, Yahoo Inc. is preparing to lay off between 600 to 700 employees as a result of lackluster growth. The company was at one time the most formidable Internet juggernaut until the rise of Google.

Employees could be notified of the cuts as early as today, according to sources inside the organization. Because Yahoo has not publicly announced the downsizing plans, no official comments have been forthcoming from company spokespeople.