SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Plumes of white smoke billowed from the Sistine Chapel chimney Wednesday, signifying the election of a new pope. Appearing on the iconic balcony of St. Peter's Basilica shortly after the conclave appointed a new bishop of Rome, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina greeted adoring Catholics to shouts of "habemus papam," and then led a prayer for his predecessor, Benedict XVI. Some Vatican watchers expressed excitement at the uniqueness of the new pontiff and the conclave's unprecedented decision to break with two thousand years of tradition. Bergoglio is neither Italian nor European, has no ties to the Roman government and invented his own papal name instead of selecting an established title, as is customary. But this newness has rankled dyed-in-the-wool Catholics and conservative lawmakers in the United States, particularly in Arizona, who say Bergoglio's installment as pope is a setback for immigration reform and the terrifying result of ignoring warnings that "Mexicans are coming to take our jobs."

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In an apparent propaganda blunder Tuesday, which attempted to depict North Korean leader Kim Jong-un as a champion of his people by dedicating a new hospital, international watchdog organizations found evidence of cannibalism at the top of the country's social and economic food chain. What had always been suspected became reality today -- the North Korean elite eat their poorest citizens. State media agency KCNA released the publicity photo of Kim Jong-un visiting the Taesongsan General Hospital, being constructed by the national army, as a goodwill message. But by showing a staff of chefs instead of surgeons, the grotesque horrors visited upon the North Korean people by their leaders were revealed to the world on film.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- According to health researchers, today marks one of the most dangerous days of the year; and the switch to daylight savings time bears the blame. When the clocks are pushed ahead by an hour, they assert, one-fifth of the world's population suffers "acute effects" as a result of waking 60 minutes earlier to prepare for work or school. Among the perils created by springing forward, studies suggest, are increased traffic accidents, a noticeable increase in the incidence of intense myocardial infarctions, a marked rise in the prevalence of workplace violence, and a greater number of suicide attempts. But mental health professionals in San Narciso County, Calif., discovered a more insidious and horrifying byproduct of daylight savings time this weekend -- a population of now homeless people who have been stuck living in a single hour for the past 26 years.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In January 2011, fast food restaurant Taco Bell was sued for thinking outside the barn. The class-action suit, which sought no monetary damages, objected to Taco Bell referring to its products as seasoned meat, when a substantial amount of the filling was composed of water, isolated oat product, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodextrin, anti-dusting agents, autolyzed yeast extract, modified corn starch and sodium phosphate. Taco Bell's definition of "seasoned meat," the suit alleged, did not conform to consumers' reasonable expectations or the U.S. Department of Agriculture's definition of meat as the flesh of animals. But the USDA also defines tacos as a "food of Mexico," which remains an ongoing complaint. The suit was eventually dropped in April 2011, with Taco Bell representatives celebrating the company's vindication. But problems persisted as the radical animal rights group PETA continued to lavish praise on Taco Bell for its decision to forgo the use of meat in its food. This week, Taco Bell proved critics wrong as British regulators discovered large amounts of horsemeat in the food, sending consumers a clear message about the company's commitment to creating meaty, Mexican-inspired cuisine.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- More than 50 years after Rosa Parks helped ignite the civil rights movement in America by refusing to relinquish her seat on a segregated bus and move to the rear of the vehicle, she became the first African American woman to be commemorated with a life-size statue in the Capitol's Statuary Hall. The dedication ceremony was held on Wednesday, with President Obama and Parks' surviving relatives in attendance. Her act of defiance directly influenced desegregation and was instrumental in the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, which came under fire this week by the conservative justices of the Supreme Court -- particularly Antonin Scalia who labeled one of its key provisions a "racial entitlement." Despite drawing gasps and criticisms for his comments, Scalia continued to attack the relevance of the act, citing the slippery-slope dangers of racial entitlements as propagating racial inequality. In that same spirit of profound concern, Scalia told Congress they should move Parks' statue to a less prominent position in Statuary Hall -- the back -- to downplay the perception of racial entitlement.