Friday, January 31, 2014

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Defends Justin Bieber, Fellow Canadian and 'Potential Source'

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, the Marion Barry of Canadian city governance, rose to the defense of Justin Bieber on Thursday after the host of the Washington D.C.-based radio program "The Sports Junkies" called Bieber "Canada's worst export." Ford added that he has never met Bieber, does not enjoy his style of music and has no deep affinity for the 19-year-old pop star because of their shared national identity. Ford, whose mayoral term has been plagued by drunken stupors and erratic crack-induced antics, said he's desperately been trying to connect with Bieber since authorities discovered drugs at the singer's Calabasas home earlier this month. "I'm not what you would call a 'Belieber,' but if I could visit Justin's place in Los Angeles and hang out for a weekend, I might be persuaded," Ford said.

During the January 14 raid, representatives from the L.A. County Sheriff's Department confirmed that cocaine was "in plain view" when they entered the property. Bieber's close friend, Lil Za, was arrested for felony drug possession. Police later told reporters that the drugs discovered may not have been cocaine but Molly, a form of ecstasy.

"It doesn't matter to me what the drugs were," Ford said yesterday. "A-bombs, ames, booger sugar, smack, X or even krokodil, it just doesn't make a difference to me what's sitting on the coffee table. What I mean is, you know, that Bieber's a young guy. At 19, I wish I'd been as successful. I wouldn't have been slipping roofies to hobos behind a Tim Hortons or making split roasts in casino toilets. Let's cut Bieber some slack. He's 19. Think back to when you were 19. We've all got skeletons in our closet. Some of us, literally -- along with cases of empty amoxicillin bottles and donor urine specimens."

It should be noted that during the arrest of Lil Za, officials declared that Bieber had no connection to the drugs found.

"So, you know, I'm just trying to protect a fellow countryman and a good guy," Ford said. "Maybe we can help each other, is sort of what I'm thinking. And Justin wasn't charged. That tells me three things. One, the law is trying to make an unnecessary example out of a celebrity. Two, he's not dealing. And three, most importantly, he knows who is. So again, I'm really jonesing to hook up with Justin soon. The sooner, the better. And if he ends up in jail before I get an opportunity to spend some time with him, I'm not sure how much assistance I can really offer."

2014. Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License. See disclaimers.

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