SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- An old adage holds that there are no atheists in foxholes. There certainly aren't any in FOX News. But as CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer unwittingly discovered, they do seem to thrive in the chaos of category EF5 twisters. Blitzer asked a clever survivor if she had thanked God for her life-saving decision making abilities and personal fortitude. She responded that she was an atheist. In a bizarre twist to the story, however, nearly all the women who spoke with CNN personnel Tuesday confessed that the combination of the natural disaster and the hollow, mechanical prattle of the network's reporters had rendered them faithless.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The main Twitter account of the Associated Press (AP) was compromised Tuesday when alleged hackers posted a tweet about an implied terrorist attack on the White House. The message said President Obama had sustained injuries after two explosions erupted from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The spurious tweet panicked Wall Street investors and briefly sent stocks tumbling. Shortly after the FBI opened an investigation into the incident, the Syrian Electronic Army (SEA) took credit for hijacking the news cooperative's accounts. Authorities, however, could not corroborate the SEA's claims. On Wednesday, embarrassed representatives from CNN admitted that they had accessed the Twitter feed to help the AP break an "important developing story from a variety of reliable sources." CNN denied accusations of hacking or intentionally reporting falsehoods.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Wednesday, amid a flurry of conflicting media reports, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) derided several press outlets for their unvetted, inaccurate, and conjecture-based reporting of suspects in custody. The New York Post, Fox News, and CNN all claimed that individuals connected with the bombings had been arrested or held for questioning. The Post infamously crossed a line when it wrote that a 20-year-old Saudi national had been detained, seemingly without any proof beyond a random photograph and a bystander's comment. Every allegation published was refuted by investigators, with the Boston police commissioner clarifying that nobody was in custody at that time. After walking back many of its claims, CNN attempted to defend the press on Friday, blaming the confusion on the unprecedented volume of photos and videos submitted by everyday folks, who now serve as the network's primary reporting sources. And in the interest of responsible journalism, CNN then named all 100,000 plus attendees at the event as suspects in the case.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- As news of the Colorado theater shooting broke last Friday, viewers switched from MSNBC to its competitors Fox News and CNN for live coverage of the attacks carried out by 24-year-old James Holmes. According to Nielsen ratings reports for July 20 -- during the time of the rampage at an Aurora, Colo., Cinemark that left 12 dead and nearly 60 others injured -- MSNBC's primetime audience dipped far below the network's averages. Conversely, CNN's viewership rose by 125 percent while Fox News' audience increased by 11 percent. MSNBC has been struggling over the last year to prevent significant ratings declines in its news broadcasts. For viewers to be turning off the network during a major event is "disheartening," media analyst Brad Adgate told Reuters. Executives at NBC described the massive loss of audience life as a "one of the most terrible and inconceivable horrors of our time."

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A Reuters/Ipsos poll today found that 73 percent of Americans believe that the country is “on the wrong track.” The poll reflected the growing anxiety over the economy and frustration with partisan politics. Half of all Americans blamed the Tea Party for compromising the country’s financial stability while the other half blamed Democrats for caving to pressure. Interestingly, despite the backlash from voters, a more widely read poll found that Casey Anthony was ranked the most hated person in the country. Not members of Congress, not Rupert Murdoch, not President Obama, and not analysts at Standard & Poor’s. But fortunately for Casey Anthony and the U.S. government, nothing so important occurred this week as the spectacle of a frumpy Sinead O’Connor debuting her new look at the Bray Seaside Festival in Ireland, where she took the stage to sing backup for reggae artist Natty Wailer.

NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. -- When, in the absence of civil defense sirens, local authorities roused Southern Californians to action on Friday morning, the threat of a potentially destructive tsunami was on its way. In an impressive response, local scientists, government officials, first-responders, and citizens showed exemplary calm under duress, which led to successful evacuation efforts. Major news organizations mobilized to cover the impending disaster, which turned out to be waves ranging only from one to three feet, gently rocking boats in area harbors. Media analysts estimate that by diverting coverage from Japan to California, outlets such as CNN lost millions.