SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Last July, Texas officials declared a statewide crisis that presaged the need for a radical overhaul of their existing penal system, once touted as a national model of cold, streamlined efficiencies to rival any assembly process used in the country today. A spokesman for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice told reporters at the time: "We have exhausted our supply of pancuronium bromide needed to perform lethal injections. Soon, we'll be left with only pentobarbital. When that runs out, Lord only knows what we're going to do." Texas depleted its stores of sodium thiopental just months later, forcing executioners to rely on a single-drug cocktail. On Friday, the state's worst fears came to pass as experts announced that the remaining supply of pentobarbital would run out in September. Curiously, sources say officials have requested to meet with George Zimmerman, who was pulled over last weekend for speeding in the northern part of the state.

"The first feast, so to speak, may also have been the nation's first Last Meal." -- Abel Wharfinger

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Although the modern Thanksgiving holiday tradition in America traces its roots to the seventeenth century, historians believe earlier celebrations existed on the continent as far back as 1598, when Spanish explorers in Texas gave a feast of thanks at San Elizario. Similar events were also documented in the Virginia Colony. Abel Wharfinger, the dean of History at San Narciso College, said the Pilgrims "likely witnessed a type of Thanksgiving feast prior to their journey overseas while they were staying in Leiden. There, annual services were held to observe the end of the 1574 siege. This event probably served as the influence for the holiday we now celebrate. Although our Thanksgiving is not entirely original, we've recently discovered something about it that is."

TEHRAN, Iran (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) --An Iranian court has found four individuals guilty for their parts in a banking scandal that caused serious complications for the government and led to the ouster of several executives. Officials have sentenced those responsible to death. Directors at an Iranian investment company used forged documents to embezzle $2.6 billion in secured loans to purchase state-owned enterprises in the fraudulent scheme. The incident was discovered in 2011, and over 39 people were identified as being involved. "According to the sentence that was issued, four of the accused in this case were sentenced to death," a judiciary spokesman told state media. News of the executions, however localized, managed to draw the attention of politicians in the United States, sparking a polarizing debate between Democrats and Republicans after a surprising number of struggling, middle class taxpayers said the bold move had given them "newfound respect" for Iran.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- As San Bernardino became the third California city to declare bankruptcy this year -- causing analysts to question the fiscal stability of the state as a whole -- federal economists warned of greater, more widespread troubles looming in the not-so-distant future. As if to underscore the point, Texas officials declared a statewide crisis Wednesday that will require a radical overhaul of the existing penal system. A spokesman for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice told reporters: "We have exhausted our supply of pancuronium bromide needed to perform lethal injections. All we have left is pentobarbital. When that runs out, Lord only knows what we're going to do."

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COMAYAGUA, Honduras (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In one of the world's worst prison fires, flames raged through an overcrowded complex in Honduras, leaving 359 people dead. Officials suspected a convict of starting the blaze by igniting his mattress. A phone call placed to the governor by another inmate, who claimed to have witnessed the incident, seemed to confirm this. Unable to escape the inferno that gutted the Comayagua National Penitentiary on Tuesday night, terrified prisoners died screaming to be let out of their cells. One man, serving a 10-year sentence for murder, managed to escape. He told reporters that fire brigades did not arrive for more than a half an hour. Relatives of the victims denounced the government for maintaining inhumane living conditions through massive overcrowding, negligent guards and a "failed" justice system. But despite the notoriety and criticism the prison has drawn, officials from the Texas penal system praised the reaction of the facility's staff and noted several efficiencies they may adopt stateside.

“The first feast, so to speak, may also have been the nation’s first Last Meal.” -- Abel Wharfinger

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Although the modern Thanksgiving holiday tradition in America traces its roots to the seventeenth century, historians believe earlier celebrations existed on the continent as far back as 1598, when Spanish explorers in Texas gave a feast of thanks at San Elizario. Similar events were also documented in the Virginia Colony. Abel Wharfinger, the dean of History at San Narciso College, said: “The Pilgrims likely witnessed a type of Thanksgiving feast prior to their journey overseas while they were staying in Leiden. There, annual services were held to observe the end of the 1574 siege. This event probably served as the influence for the holiday we now celebrate. Although our Thanksgiving is not entirely original, we’ve recently discovered something about it that is.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A woman from Irving, Texas, accused of killing her 6-year-old son and leaving his body on a Maine road pleaded guilty to second-degree murder Friday. Investigators said the woman killed her son at a New Hampshire motel, drove over the border to Maine in her pickup truck, and then left the body on the roadside, covered in a green blanket. The cause of death was ruled as asphyxiation. The suspect told police that she had dosed her son with cold medicine before smothering him with a pillow. She also stated that it took four minutes for the child to die.

When asked why she killed her son, the accused said, “I caught him stealing cookies from the cupboard. He was a criminal, so he faced the ultimate punishment. That’s how we do things in Texas. Perry for President in 2012!”

(c) 2011. See disclaimers.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- A former United States Army recruiter convicted of killing a woman nine years ago at Dodger Stadium is slated to be executed Tuesday, but his attorneys are now requesting an eleventh-hour reprieve, citing the inmate’s objection to drugs.

Levon Metzger, a senior attorney with the San Narciso-based law firm Warpe, Wistfull, Kubitschek and McMingus, said in a statement before the press this morning, “The prison system’s come under a lot of fire lately, but my client is proof that rehabilitation is possible. He’s been clean for over eight years, which is the direct result of the prison’s healthy living program. And now what does the state want to do? Pump him full of drugs. That’s what lethal injection is: a bunch of drugs. It’s hypocrisy at the highest level.”