SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The professional sports establishment has been an influential force for breaking down barriers over the years. The most obvious being the race barrier. But on Monday, NBA center Jason Collins shattered one of the final impediments when he announced his homosexuality, becoming the first openly gay male athlete to do so while being active in a major team sport. Other players have waited until their retirements to reveal their sexual orientations. Public reactions to Collins' disclosure spanned all ends of the spectrum, from support to condemnation. And not surprisingly, leaders of the Westboro Baptist Church -- the Almighty's constant gardeners, who root out the sinful weeds of homosexuality wherever they take hold -- were there. The extremist Christian sect said it will launch its most elaborate protest yet -- by forming its own pro basketball team.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Actor John Travolta has been accused in a federal lawsuit of assault and sexual battery on two male massage therapists, with the plaintiffs providing lurid details about the unwanted advances. The first incident chronicles Travolta's alleged groping of a masseur in a Beverly Hills bungalow, ending with Travolta masturbating himself. The second victim purports that he faced similar molestation while attending to Travolta in Atlanta. The suit seeks $2 million in damages. Travolta's representatives called the suit "a complete fiction and fabrication" in a statement released Tuesday. Surprisingly, however, the defense says it will fight the accusations by citing Travolta's right to freely exercise his religious beliefs as a Scientologist. The 58-year-old star of "White Man's Burden," "Battlefield Earth," "Wild Hogs," "Michael" and the "Look Who's Talking" franchise also plans to countersue for malicious prosecution.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Over the past few weeks, Catholic bishops have sparred with President Obama over the contentious issue of religious freedom as symbolized by federal mandates that require health insurance plans to offer free contraception. Obama caved to the pressure and offered a compromise that considers the priorities of all parties -- insurance companies, people seeking birth control and church-sponsored employers who object to the provision of contraceptives on religious grounds. As part of the agreement, faith-based organizations such as hospitals, schools and universities would be exempt from funding the coverage. For employees who request birth control, their insurance providers would issue it without raising premiums. Some Catholic groups have praised the compromise, but the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops continues to protest that the exemption doesn't go far enough in protecting religious rights. Now, energized by their recent victory, Catholic leaders are planning an aggressive campaign to rally the devout against a long list of government measures they feel intrude on religious liberties. "We want to make it something that will get peoples' attention," said Bishop William Lori of Bridgeport, Conn. With that, the council demanded that Christians be allowed to practice the severe laws outlined in Leviticus without legal repercussions.

DENVER, Colo. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- What seemed impossible only a week ago -- that Rick Santorum could pick up enough steam to displace Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney as the Republican nominee -- now seems merely improbable. With three major victories Tuesday, Santorum's financially challenged grass-roots campaign stands poised for transformation. The biggest surprise of the evening came in Colorado, where Santorum defied political analysts by seizing a 3,600-vote win against front-runner Mitt Romney. Although voters in many of the state's precincts expressed a desire to see a more socially conservative candidate vie for the White House, Santorum remained a long-shot in the eyes of most observers. That is, until Colorado megachurch leader Rev. Ted Haggard generated a groundswell of support for Santorum. Haggard is the controversial but influential pastor of St. James Church in Colorado Springs. According to reports, a conservative power-broker who uses the same massage parlor as Haggard overheard the endorsement while waiting for his session.

MURRELLS INLET, S.C. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Texas Gov. Rick Perry switched campaign strategies Tuesday and placed his focus on courting veterans in South Carolina. The move came as a surprise to political observers who admitted to being unaware that Perry was still in the race for the Republican presidential nomination. South Carolina's economy and culture have historically been tied to the military. In fact, during the 2008 primary, nearly 25 percent of the voters in the state said they had served in the Armed Forces. Perry too has previously made his support for the military a key issue in his candidacy. The White House hopeful might not know how many branches of government there are, the national voting age, the number of U.S. states, the average quantity of toes on an Asian child, or how many Supreme Court Justices occupy the bench, but he knows a secret cabal of gay-loving government Illuminati are killing prayer in school by allowing homosexuals to serve in the military. He hoped this message would resound with his audience.

“What the hell kind of sick, indecent, culturally retarded infidel have we put into power?” -- Rush Limbaugh

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Since Barack Obama presented his poor forgery of a long-form birth certificate, gullible elements of the public have been reluctant to listen to continued accusations that the president is a Muslim from Kenya. This was a particularly unwelcome setback to conservative mouthpiece and long-time champion of American values, Rush Limbaugh, who had made disseminating the information of Obama’s heritage the cornerstone of his crusade to preserve the integrity of the nation’s highest office. Fortunately, an email about the absence of Obama’s past romances surfaced on Wednesday, helping Limbaugh prove that the president is in fact the most un-American political figure in Washington. “No girlfriends?” Limbaugh asked. “No serious relationships prior to the woman he eventually married? What the hell kind of sick, indecent, culturally retarded infidel have we put into power?”