SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In January, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie became mired in scandal when revelations emerged that top aides in his administration orchestrated the politically motivated sabotage of the George Washington Bridge last September. Christie issued a brief public apology after the news broke, followed by two hours of self-indulgent, self-pitying and, at times, passive-aggressive assurances that he was “a very sad person.” Emails published by the Bergen Record presented indisputable evidence that Christie’s top staffers and allies plotted to create four days of lane closures on the bustling connector between New Jersey and New York. Christie fired those responsible and denied any involvement in the incident. But nearly four months later, the dark cloud that rained ruin over his career continues to show no signs of dissipating. On Thursday, the embattled governor and former GOP presidential contender announced that he had commissioned an internal investigation into his possible abetting of “Bridgegate,” which ultimately cleared him of any wrongdoing.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Thursday, after a day of silence and strategizing in the wake of revelations that top aides in his administration orchestrated the politically motivated sabotage of the George Washington Bridge in September, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie appeared before the press to issue a brief public apology followed by two hours of self-indulgent, self-pitying and, at times, passive-aggressive assurances that he was "a very sad person today." Emails published by the Bergen Record on Wednesday presented indisputable evidence that Christie's top staffers and allies plotted to create four days of lane closures on the bustling connector between New Jersey and New York. Christie fired those responsible and denied any involvement in the incident, but his hefty smorgasbord of inconsistent and dubious statements served to further implicate him as another big fat liar in the scandal, particularly when he told reporters he first heard of the emails while he was "working out."

TRENTON, N.J. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Gov. Chris Christie followed through on his promise to veto a bill seeking to legalize same-sex marriages in New Jersey, disappointing but not surprising Democrats in the state. Christie quickly struck down the measure Friday, sending the bill back to the Legislature like an undercooked pork chop. Progressive pundit Ferrel Michaels said: "Gov. Christie told me directly that he would move quickly to kill any gay marriage measure that hit his desk. I laughed, because it's funny to imagine Christie moving quickly for anything that doesn't involve pie. But he honored his commitment to slapping a 'big fat veto' on the bill. Pretty much sums the guy up. I mean that he infuses his personal ideology into the law, not that he's fat -- although he's certainly that too." In rejecting the proposed bill, Christie reiterated that voters -- not the individuals they elected to represent them in the Assembly -- should decide how to define marriage within New Jersey.

ROCKAWAY TOWNSHIP, N.J. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- After receiving complaints about a 29-year-old female Dunkin’ Donuts employee providing “lackluster” sexual services for “outrageous fees” to patrons in the parking lot, New Jersey police launched an investigation into illegal practices. Detectives told reporters that during a stakeout they noticed worker Melissa Redmond getting into the cars of customers and spending up to 15 minutes in their vehicles. “There are several problems here,” investigators said. “Customers are complaining about the quality of the product and the high price, which for only 15 minutes in a cramped back seat seems justified. Also, Dunkin’ Donuts failed to obtain the necessary permits or pay for the additional health inspections required.” As a result, Dunkin’ Donuts has been forced to remove all sexual services from its menus.