SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Violent confrontations between Nigerian Christians and Muslims have escalated to their highest levels since the Bosnian war of 1992-1995, according to an international task force. But the core causes of the deadly clashes, which have claimed hundreds of lives this year alone, reach far beyond mere differences in faith. The report cites corruption, financial mismanagement, lack of policing crimes, lack of assistance for victims, and ongoing land disputes as the primary catalysts driving human rights violations and armed conflicts in the region. And though the report identified dozens of steps that could be taken by the world community to resolve the issues -- all of them costly and time consuming -- a delegation of Congressional Republicans told State Department officials that an email they received from Nigeria's rightful heir to the throne could pave a more direct and effective path to peace.

But does Santa believe in you?

NORTH POLE (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript)-- With just three days remaining until his annual goodwill mission, Santa Claus admitted Wednesday that for almost two hundred years he's harbored growing doubts about the existence of children. St. Nick opened this morning's global press briefing on a surprisingly somber note, offering reporters a rare glimpse into the philosophical and spiritual conflicts that have troubled his soul since the end of the 1950s, when he first recognized his budding crisis of faith. Kris Kringle said: "I've been reluctant to talk about this, but I feel the time is right. A lot of dubious claims have been made, creating myths that just can't be justified in my mind. I've tried to rationalize them for years, but I can't continue living in a delusion." He then revealed that, among other things, no postal agency has ever delivered a single piece of mail to the North Pole.

ABUJA, Nigeria -- Earlier this week, the West African nation of Nigeria charged former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney with siphoning over $180 million in bribes to government officials. If convicted, Cheney could face three years in a Nigerian prison. Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission accused Cheney of making the payments while he was in charge of KBR, Halliburton’s engineering subsidiary prior to its divestiture in 2007. KBR admitted to the bribes and agreed to pay fines in the neighborhood of $597 million. International sources report that Halliburton is now entertaining a plea deal with Nigeria in which the company will settle the charges against Cheney for $500 million. But when Halliburton’s directors expressed skepticism about their ability to raise the capital in time, Cheney began sending emails to American citizens, asking for financial assistance.