SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, the Marion Barry of Canadian city governance, rose to the defense of Justin Bieber on Thursday after the host of the Washington D.C.-based radio program "The Sports Junkies" called Bieber "Canada's worst export." Ford added that he has never met Bieber, does not enjoy his style of music and has no deep affinity for the 19-year-old pop star because of their shared national identity. Ford, whose mayoral term has been plagued by drunken stupors and erratic crack-induced antics, said he's desperately been trying to connect with Bieber since authorities discovered drugs at the singer's Calabasas home earlier this month. "I'm not what you would call a 'Belieber,' but if I could visit Justin's place in Los Angeles and hang out for a weekend, I might be persuaded," Ford said.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Until 10 days ago, most Americans had never heard of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. Which seems unusual given his astounding track record of disregarding political correctness in favor of making blunt, often weird statements such as implying bicyclists who are killed on roadways deserve their fates for having the gall to use thoroughfares intended for motor vehicles, or that "Oriental people work like dogs… I'm telling you, the Oriental people, they're slowly taking over." To his credit, Ford didn't go so far as to say "Oriental people" eat dogs. But there's always next week. Now, some media are reporting the existence of a homemade video that captures scenes of Ford enjoying crack cocaine. But instead of calling for his ouster, Ford's constituents seem to be defending him, and his popularity and notoriety have noticeably increased. Scandal, it would seem, is a mystical oven that bakes contradictions into delicious pies of irony . And lesser-known political figures in the United States want a slice.