SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Over three years ago, a well-intentioned, 46-year-old race car mechanic in Kansas donated his sperm to a lesbian couple seeking to conceive a child. A written agreement that waived the donor's parental rights and financial obligations was executed between the parties at the time of delivery. However in October, Kansas filed a petition to have the donor legally declared the father of the three-year-old child and held responsible for support payments under state law. Citing a 2007 case before the Kansas Supreme Court, lawyers for the donor argued that their client bore no parental responsibilities because of his agreement with the couple. The case attracted national attention this week with the announcement of a January 8 hearing. As an unexpected result, thousands of unmarried men with illegitimate children and mounting child support debt filed motions Thursday to have their statuses changed to "donor," and their financial obligations overturned.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In a bold move to make the "Dr. Strangelove" character Gen. Jack Ripper proud, Representative Todd Akin (R-Mo.) opted for total commitment in the GOP's war against women this weekend with bizarre comments about "legitimate rape" and the power of a woman's uterus to block pregnancy in such situations. Akin's decision, like Ripper's, was orchestrated without the approval or foreknowledge of his superiors. It also bucked tradition, which generally holds that a war against women could only mean Republicans believe the uterus capable of producing crude oil or that at some point a vagina tried to kill George H.W. Bush. The surprising aftermath saw GOP leaders withdrawing financial and political support for Akin's current Senate race as he remained defiant and refused to resign. Akin, a conservative Christian who sits on the Committee for Science, Space and Technology, and whose mission is to restore "traditional scientific methods" to "unproven 21st century malarkey," doubled down Monday by holding a series of press conferences to educate the confused masses about the different types of rape and how female reproductive systems actually operate.