SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Monday, officials in North Carolina announced the death of Keith Crisco, 71, who was Clay Aiken’s Democratic rival for the state’s congressional primary. Crisco narrowly trailed Aiken, but his death, called a “freak accident” by authorities, brought an end to a hotly contested race. Aiken, of “American Idol” notoriety, is not only politically inexperienced -- this election marks his first bid for public office -- he’s also an openly gay celebrity seeking to represent a district dominated by socially conservative, evangelical Christians, some of whom now suspect foul play in Crisco’s demise. “There’s a lot we don’t know about the gays and their gay powers,” one resident said. “You gotta wonder how a guy trips and kills himself walking through his door. Stuff like that never happened before the gays came.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Since the outbreak of civil unrest in Ukraine, already tenuous relations between the United States and Russia have worsened. Russia deployed troops and undertook annexation proceedings in Crimea while the United States and its allies decried the aggressive overtures, calling instead for freedom. The violence and bloodshed have shown no signs of abating, with many fearing the inevitability of outright civil war. Most recently, during the May 9 holiday, another 20 unarmed protesters were gunned down in the streets. On Monday, however, Eastern Ukrainians turned out in droves to support independence and self-rule in a referendum. Curiously, the vote for freedom unleashed waves of outrage from the United States and the U.S.-backed government in Kiev. State Department officials explained that Ukrainians “clearly misunderstood our definition of freedom -- which was that they were free to join the EU, not become completely sovereign or merge with Russia.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Monday, Russian President Vladimir Putin inched closer to Soviet-era censorship by signing into law restrictive new controls for the country’s Internet. Political activists, Internet champions and free speech advocates attacked the decision, saying the government would be able to tighten the reins on any views it deemed dissenting. But Putin’s biggest criticism came from the United States. National Security Agency (NSA) officials called the law “immature, myopic and completely counterproductive to real intelligence gathering.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Given the drastic legislation passed in recent years and the blatantly exclusionary rhetoric of Arizona lawmakers, the state’s wide embrace of Monday’s Cinco de Mayo festivities came as a surprise to many. In fact, most government agencies reported spending days preparing for parades, picnics, cultural exhibits and public displays of Mexican heritage. “With so many Mexicans infiltrating Arizona, especially around the Phoenix area, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that May 5 is a highly anticipated day of celebration,” Governor Jan Brewer said. “We couldn’t support this holiday enough. It’s a day for food, music, dancing, revelry and, coincidentally, our state’s new census. It’s a once-in-a-year opportunity to round everybody up and see just who’s who in our communities.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Thursday, after releasing a long-awaited report and audio records of communications between air traffic controllers and flight crews, Malaysian Airlines announced that it would be closing the assistance centers it sponsored for the relatives of passengers lost with Flight 370. Family members wailed and shouted at the news in Beijing’s Lido Hotel, where they had been hosted. For hundreds of anguished people, closure of the centers means an end to daily briefings. But the scene devolved from despair to tortured chaos when the airline told relatives it would be flying them back home aboard its planes.