SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In struggling to uphold his campaign pledges, many of which have stalled or faded away in a billow of brazen rhetoric, President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will withdraw the United States from the Paris accord, a landmark 2015 global agreement to combat the devastating effects of climate change. Trump has generally viewed green energy initiatives as unfounded scams that contribute nothing to the economy, although employment figures, growth projections and financial data paint a different portrait. Instead, Trump seeks to bolster American production and create jobs by reviving the whaling industry and, in an odd remark from the White House Rose Garden, “putting scientists to work engineering a tremendous Jurassic Park full of dinosaurs we can breed and harvest into petroleum -- like an amazing fossil fuel farm.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- For Donald Trump, sharing state secrets with any interested foreign actor has become a sort of proving ground in a rite of passage to be accepted as a legitimate global leader -- a way to validate that he holds genuine power and knowledge. But as his approval rating plummets into an abyss of historic lows, even among right-wing pollsters, Trump has found himself perched atop a fulcrum on which his authority and ability to command teeter. He has become desperate to reassert his image of brash confidence and superior insight. So beginning on June 1, restaurants at Trump’s Palm Beach resort will treat curious diners to confidential secrets that promise to be juicier than their overcooked, cloth-textured steaks. For $500, visitors to Mar-a-Lago may purchase fortune cookies that contain one piece of classified U.S. intelligence (limit one cookie per guest).

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Touring the site of Yad Vesham, a national Holocaust memorial in Israel, is a customary stop for U.S. presidential visits. The mood is generally somber and contemplative, as reflected in the heartfelt messages left by previous heads-of-state in the guestbook. Following tradition, President Donald Trump also made an entry on the pages of this historic ledger, but in a style the Washington Post described as “strangely upbeat, self-referential and written in his signature all-caps.” Unlike his predecessor, who penned an emotional and elegant tribute, Trump seemed to have confused the record for a yearbook and wished Israel a “rad summer with bitchin waves.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On weekday afternoons along Man-of-War Boulevard, commuters in the Bennington Vale and Santa Calcetines are treated to a variety of street performances put on by aspiring artists from San Narciso College. But Monday, curiosity and amusement turned to terror as a young mime suffocated to death before a gathering of horrified onlookers who were helpless to extricate him from an invisible box.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Following last week’s controversial meeting with Russian officials, in which President Trump divulged classified intelligence to foreign nationals who have been deemed hostile to U.S. interests, the White House welcomed Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan on Tuesday. Trump extended a warm greeting to Erdogan, an authoritarian ruler whose relationship with the United States has been strained and at times combative. The president praised his counterpart’s tough leadership style and boasted of a renewed alliance, remarking that he was eager to begin sharing sensitive state secrets with Turkey.