SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Actor Shia LaBeouf, donning a bag over his head in public, continues to decry what fleeting celebrity he once had and insists that he is no longer famous. Yet, LaBeouf has embarked on a very public apology tour, which has culminated in a Los Angeles art installation titled “#IAmSorry.” In the exhibition, the no-longer-famous actor sits at a table, bagged visage and all, with implements that include whiskey, pliers, candy, a ukulele, film artifacts such as a “Transformers” toy and a bullwhip (á la Indiana Jones)*, and a copy of Daniel Clowes’ book “The Death Ray.” The latter is the most revealing because LaBeouf recently confessed, although with a feigned sense of ignorance, that he utterly plagiarized another of Clowes’ stories. Now, LaBeouf is again being attacked as a flagrant plagiarist for a new project he claims to have authored, which depicts the story of an ancient Hebrew rabbi who claims a divine birthright, is persecuted as a result, dies during a crucifixion and returns to Earth in the spiritual form of a messiah.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Last week, in what Republicans labeled a socialist plot, CVS Caremark announced plans to stop selling tobacco products, including cigarettes, in its stores beginning October 1. This move makes CVS the first national pharmacy to pull tobacco products from its shelves. Executives for the drug chain said selling cigarettes runs contrary to the company’s core mission to promote the health of its customers. "Put simply, the sale of tobacco products is inconsistent with our purpose," said CVS Caremark CEO Larry Merlo. But influential members of the GOP now question the legality of a commercial enterprise deciding what it will or won't vend. On Monday, the head economist of a local Republican think tank said he was in the process of filing a formal complaint against CVS with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC).

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The business news during the first quarter of 2014 has already been filled with executives moving to competing firms, mergers, acquisitions and notable divestitures, such as Google selling off Motorola. Following suit, the world’s premier terrorist organization, al Qaeda, announced that it would be severing ties with its best-known affiliate, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, which is fighting a ferocious guerrilla war in both of those nations. Al Qaeda, the corporate parent, issued a blunt statement on Monday announcing the divestiture of the Islamic State from all Middle Eastern terror operations. Representatives for al Qaeda’s Pakistan-based headquarters called the move a strategic and necessary business decision similar to Google’s sale of Motorola. "Difficult as it is to sever a business partnership, we believe this move will free our engineers and operations specialists to focus on our core model, which has been suffering since 2011," said a senior al Qaeda press official.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, the Marion Barry of Canadian city governance, rose to the defense of Justin Bieber on Thursday after the host of the Washington D.C.-based radio program "The Sports Junkies" called Bieber "Canada's worst export." Ford added that he has never met Bieber, does not enjoy his style of music and has no deep affinity for the 19-year-old pop star because of their shared national identity. Ford, whose mayoral term has been plagued by drunken stupors and erratic crack-induced antics, said he's desperately been trying to connect with Bieber since authorities discovered drugs at the singer's Calabasas home earlier this month. "I'm not what you would call a 'Belieber,' but if I could visit Justin's place in Los Angeles and hang out for a weekend, I might be persuaded," Ford said.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- If the reports are to be "beliebed," over 100,000 people have signed a petition asking the White House to revoke Justin Bieber's visa and have him deported back to Canada. The megalomaniac teen singer has been embroiled in an ongoing series of legal troubles arising from his unrepentant misbehavior. But immigration experts say his removal from the United States on these grounds alone would be unlikely. Obama administration officials, however, admitted that Canada's adamant refusal to allow the extradition of Bieber back to the Great White North could spark an international incident.