SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- During the annual Holocaust remembrance ceremony at the Capitol on Tuesday, President Trump attempted to send a forceful message to critics who have doubted his commitment to fighting discrimination and anti-Semitism. But Trump also indulged in his penchant for deviating from prepared remarks to interject rambling, incoherent and often bizarre anecdotes about deceased historical and public figures. While bestowing honors on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Trump veered off script and issued a puzzling call to recognize Frederick Douglass, implying that the famous abolitionist was still alive. He recently lavished similar present-tense accolades on Luciano Pavarotti, who died in 2007. But the confused commander-in-chief stunned Israel’s ambassador to the United States when he delivered a stern warning to Adolf Hitler, whose life ended 72 years ago.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The end of a president’s first 100 days in office is not a formal milestone, but during the last century this benchmark has come to symbolize a gauge by which to measure and forecast a new administration’s performance, based on initial accomplishments. But fake news outlets like NBC, CNN, NPR and the New York Times have discounted President Trump’s achievements to promote specious tales of failure and loss. Trump’s grand schemes, in under 100 days, have largely been realized. He has undeniably laid the groundwork to dismantle government, erect barriers between nations, end health care, privatize education, start a global war, weaken the power of fringe groups such as LGBTQ people and feminists, and clear obstacles like Native American protesters from America’s path to energy independence. In this era of fake media, it is important that journalists seek the truth. And the truth is that Trump , like Charlie Sheen, is winning.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Concealed by a canopy of massive eucalyptus trees that line Bennington Vale’s Andover tract is Donkey Dell Park -- a forgettable, squalid, dingy patch of grass that had its sod laid before construction of the first homes began in the late 1960s. While most residents in San Narciso visit the county’s sprawling recreational areas to swim, play tennis, exercise, ride horses or just enjoy a warm day in a beautiful setting, the teens of Bennington Vale seldom stray from Donkeydell Park. Despite its unfortunate name -- the origins of which have remained a source of dispute and mystery for decades -- Donkeydell endures as a nostalgic oasis for neighborhood millennials. The park happens to be the fetid, nasty place where most of them lost their virginity -- and where, according to their parents, they were also conceived. But government officials want to close it down. Local millennials refuse to let that happen without a fight.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Bill O’Reilly’s ouster from Fox News, amid revelations of a costly sexual harassment cover up, has also put President Trump in an awkward and embarrassing predicament. At the end of March, Trump declared April 2017 to be National Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Some progressive opponents accepted the gesture, hoping for an earnest commitment from the White House, even if politically motivated. Others derided the president’s sentiments as ironic and brazen, citing examples of his misogynistic exploits, including a public defense of O’Reilly. When questioned about Trump’s support of O’Reilly, Press Secretary Sean Spicer reluctantly admitted that the president’s intent with National Sexual Assault Awareness Month was to honor the “perverts, rapists and sexual predators who represent the values of America’s great leadership, and who have fueled a thriving patriarchy that created the most powerful nation in the world.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- President Donald Trump frittered away Easter Sunday at the noticeably sparse Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn of the White House. During the celebration, the 139th of its kind, Trump belittled the audience, bullied adoring children, complained that the predominantly pubescent attendees (girls over the age of 13) offered little in the way of “Easter eye candy,” and disappointed revelers who discovered only pillow mints from Trump hotels inside their plastic eggs. Meanwhile, Vice President Mike Pence traveled to the Korean Peninsula to warn Kim Jong-un against testing Trump’s willingness to launch preemptive strikes in response to threats. “I urge North Korea not to question the strength of the Armed Forces of the United States in this region, nor our president’s itchy trigger finger,” Pence said. “He’ll do it. He’ll press the button. He’ll kill us all.”