SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Michael “Jim” Delligatti, the man who created the iconic Big Mac sandwich and unwittingly poisoned generations of Americans, died in his home Monday. He was 98. Though not the name or face most people associate with McDonald’s, Delligatti was the pioneer who perfected one of the fast food giant’s most recognizable items. He opened his first franchise in 1957. He came to own and operate an additional 47 chains, making him one of the largest franchise holders in the company’s annals. Not only did Delligatti introduce the nation to the Big Mac, he also proved instrumental in developing the equally infamous breakfast fare, making him one of the most prolific, albeit unintentional, killers in American history.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Obesity in the United States is considered by many health experts to have reached epidemic proportions. Immediately after President Obama took office, First Lady Michelle Obama launched an aggressive campaign to promote exercise, nutrition and healthy habits for young children. As of today, 10,000 child care centers across the nation have adopted Mrs. Obama’s program. Her progress, according to federal health authorities, has also inspired parents to buy healthier, lower-calorie foods for their children. The success of these efforts is historic and undeniable -- the CDC reported last week an unprecedented 43-percent drop in obesity rates among two- to five-year-old children. But Republican lawmakers warn that this fitness agenda is a dangerous aspect of Mr. Obama’s socialist healthcare reform, intended to cripple the nation’s thriving health insurance market and destroy the economy.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Starbucks' outspoken CEO, Howard Schultz, staunchly defended his company's support of marriage equality last week when he challenged shareholders opposed to same-sex unions to sell their stock. Schultz was quick to point out that his endorsement of diversity had less to do with profits and economics than good corporate citizenship. During his five-year tenure as the global coffee retailer's chief executive, Schultz has adopted a rare role for a business leader: political activist. He has called for campaign finance reform, corporate social responsibility and now gay rights. Anti-gay companies such as Papa John's Pizza and Chick-fil-A balked in response. But prominent conservatives called for action against Starbucks, fearing that Schultz's embrace of the LGBT community would create a dangerous social situation. Tony Perkins, head of the Family Research Council -- now labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center -- warned lawmakers that more gays frequenting Starbucks means more gays hopped up on caffeine. "And that can only lead to a terrifying outbreak of bestiality, sodomy, child molestation and skinny jeans," Perkins said.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In January 2011, fast food restaurant Taco Bell was sued for thinking outside the barn. The class-action suit, which sought no monetary damages, objected to Taco Bell referring to its products as seasoned meat, when a substantial amount of the filling was composed of water, isolated oat product, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodextrin, anti-dusting agents, autolyzed yeast extract, modified corn starch and sodium phosphate. Taco Bell's definition of "seasoned meat," the suit alleged, did not conform to consumers' reasonable expectations or the U.S. Department of Agriculture's definition of meat as the flesh of animals. But the USDA also defines tacos as a "food of Mexico," which remains an ongoing complaint. The suit was eventually dropped in April 2011, with Taco Bell representatives celebrating the company's vindication. But problems persisted as the radical animal rights group PETA continued to lavish praise on Taco Bell for its decision to forgo the use of meat in its food. This week, Taco Bell proved critics wrong as British regulators discovered large amounts of horsemeat in the food, sending consumers a clear message about the company's commitment to creating meaty, Mexican-inspired cuisine.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On July 18, Chick-fil-A COO Dan Cathy sparked an uproar when he confirmed the company's support of an undeniable anti-LGBT philosophy, writing in a blog post: "I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.' And I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about." In response, Christian conservatives urged their supporters to frequent Chick-fil-A restaurants while gay rights protesters staged demonstrations at chains across the nation. On Wednesday, however, the company formally announced plans to retreat from the debate and cease funding groups with anti-gay agendas. "We had a tough decision to make," Cathy said in a press statement. "Do we support The Almighty or the Almighty Dollar? At the end of the day, after much introspection and prayer, it seemed obvious that God Himself would've chosen the dollar. How else do you explain tithes, collection plates, fundraisers, church tax shelters, retail-based holidays and Bain Capital? God created money, so He must want us to embrace it as with all His creations."

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- By openly defying gay marriage and accusing homosexuals of arrogantly twisting God's words about the sanctity of matrimony, Chick-fil-A President Don Cathy transformed a mediocre chicken nugget sandwich into a divisive and hugely newsworthy political symbol. As a result, sales at Chick-fil-A skyrocketed when supporters crowded into restaurants to show Cathy that they too supported his interpretation of God's definition of marriage. "Right now, the sales figures for some of the most popular fast food restaurants have become as stale and unhealthy as their menu items," a representative from the National Restaurant Association said. "Don Cathy was a genius to hitch his hens to the gay-hate wagon. If places like the Golden Arches wish to keep their luster, they'll need to associate their brands with things that increase the hate and fear of their conservative base." And Papa John's founder, John Schnatter, found his scary political issue Wednesday when he announced he would raise the price of his pizzas unless Obamacare is repealed, giving pizza lovers something else to hate about Papa John's.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Chick-fil-A, a fast food restaurant chain specializing in chicken entrées and Christian values, is offering a free breakfast entrée between September 6 and September 10 for those who qualify by registering with the company’s online reservation system. Unfortunately, the system is leaving some with more reservations than it is generating. Complaints have also arisen about the “limited” number of spaces as well as the geographic restrictions. While communities such as Bennington Vale offer more Chick-fil-A locations than they do Starbucks, cities such as San Francisco have none at all, requiring devout patrons to travel as far as Fairfield, Calif. -- a pilgrimage of nearly 50 miles.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The FDA on Tuesday introduced a series of gruesome warnings, featuring graphic depictions of lifeless bodies, surgical scars and diseased tissue. The labels were intended to be placed on cigarette packaging and advertisements, but after meeting with influential lobbying groups, agency officials now plan to post these enhanced warnings on a variety of questionable consumables.

“The FDA is helping responsible companies target those growers and manufacturers who do not operate with the same level of oversight as large corporations,” explained a lobbyist representing Archer Daniels Midland. “Let’s face it, organic simply means it was grown in a dirty, untreated environment. Animals may have defecated in that soil. There are no chemicals present to treat possible diseases. We think that’s the real threat to America’s health.”

Samples of the proposed FDA product labels follow. Warning: some images may be disturbing to readers.