Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Obama Provides Long-form Birth Certificate, Republicans Now Question Legal Status of Hawaii as U.S. State

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attempting to stanch the persistent distraction of questions concerning his citizenship, President Obama on Wednesday released the long-form birth certificate his incredulous critics have been demanding. The document, signed and sealed, revealed that Obama was born at Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital in Honolulu, as he has always claimed. Donald Trump, one of Obama’s most vocal skeptics, expressed triumph with his personal crusade to put the “birther” doubts to rest. “I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully getting rid of this issue,” said Trump.

But he also cautioned against drawing premature conclusions, contending that the document will need to be vetted for authenticity. More shockingly, Tea Party Republicans in Congress have now announced the formation of an exploratory committee to determine whether Hawaii is legitimately a U.S. state.

Obama Releases Proof of Citizenship to Return Focus to Issues
At the White House news conference this morning, President Obama explained his decision to seek the official waiver for the long-form birth certificate as an effort to squelch the conspiracy theories fanned by the GOP, which now overshadow critical policy decisions.

“We’ve got some enormous challenges out there," the President told reporters. “I am confident that the American people and America’s political leaders can come together in a bipartisan way and solve these problems. … (But) we aren’t going to be able to solve these problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.”

There’s a Birther Born Every Minute
The President’s allusion to birther champions as circus barkers has not escaped other politicians and news sources. Comparisons of Donald Trump to P.T. Barnum abound, even though prominent Republicans, with John Boehner and John McCain among them, have already declared Obama’s citizenship status a non-issue. But for many birthers, the long-form birth certificate has failed to satisfy all their concerns. As a result, several conservative Republicans are questioning the very status of Hawaii as part of the United States.

Representative Bill Posey (R-Fla.), considered the first birther in Congress, believes a wider conspiracy exists.

“Just because Obama has demonstrated, albeit tentatively, that he was born in Hawaii, what do we really know about Hawaii?” Posey asked. “Is Hawaii really a state? This is a debate that’s long overdue in our national discourse. It’s not part of this great land. It’s an island, populated by Polynesians who even to this day practice a pagan religion. It’s certainly the furthest removed ‘state’ from our Christian nation, there’s no arguing that. It’s a tribal culture with strange religious practices that are heavily rooted in idolatry. You know where else you’ll find idol worshipping tribes? Kenya, that’s where.”

Posey went on to offer historical evidence that would seem to cast greater doubt on Hawaii’s standing as the 50th state.

“Let’s look at the facts. In 1897, Secretary of State John Sherman agreed to a treaty of annexation with representatives of the Republic of Hawaii. Fine, but the treaty was never ratified by the U.S. Senate. Then in the 1950s, all of a sudden, Congress passes something called the ‘Hawaii Admission Act,’ but what does that mean? It’s basically a territory, like Puerto Rico, right? Also, Hawaii’s language is mostly vowels. There are only two consonants in the word ‘Hawaii,’ just as there are only two consonants in the word ‘Obama.’ That says something to me, and what it says is that Barack Obama was born on a heathen island outside the boundaries of the United States. Americans love baseball and apple pie, not surfing and pineapple pie.”

Posey and his supporters concluded that the issue of Obama’s legal citizenship has not died and will continue to be pursued.

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