Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Christopher Dorner's Success Inspires Would-be Killers to Get Police Training
The LAPD sacked Dorner for making a false statement about an officer he accused of brutalizing a suspect. Dorner's first object of vengeance was Randall Quan, the lawyer who represented him during the internal review. Dorner gunned down Quan's daughter and her boyfriend in Irvine, California. Four days later, Dorner ambushed police officers on a routine guard patrol in Riverside and Corona, Calif., killing one.
Dorner poses an especially difficult challenge because he is a well educated, savvy and highly trained police officer and soldier. Prior to joining the LAPD, Dorner served in the U.S. Navy, where he was awarded the Iraqi Campaign Medal and National Defense Service Medal, the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal and honors for marksmanship.
His familiarity with police and military strategies has made tracking him a daunting and frustrating endeavor. Charlie Beck, chief of the LAPD, astutely summarized the threat Dorner poses when he told reporters at a recent press conference, "He knows what he's doing -- we trained him."
In a strange turn of events, however, Beck's message resonated deeply with a most unintended audience -- other potential mass shooters, armed sociopaths and serial killers.
"I never would've considered joining the police in a million years; but all irony aside, it just makes sense now," admitted Joey Bultshuck, a practicing stalker who's looking to break into the growing mass shooter industry.
Bultshuck's past forays into murder sprees have proven uneventful. He was apprehended by a crossing guard while preparing for a middle school massacre last May. He also dropped his gun during a botched "crime of passion" at a Taco Bell in November, at which point his intended victim -- the lover who had scorned him -- grabbed the weapon and held him at bay until authorities arrived.
"There's no school you can enroll in, no mentors to teach you how to do the job right," Bultshuck said. "But the police. It's genius. It's like enlisting in the military to go to college on the GI Bill. But in this case, I'll be joining the cops -- also at taxpayer's expense -- to get the education I need to kill my former colleagues and then easily elude capture. There's no telling how high I could climb in this profession with this level of practical and academic training. Dorner is truly an inspiration. And probably in a couple of weeks, a martyr."
(c) 2013. See disclaimers.