Thursday, November 3, 2016

Russia Declares 10-hour Aleppo Truce: Nonstop Killing Is Exhausting Soldiers


SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Russian President Vladimir Putin, ally of Syria’s dictatorial Bashar al-Assad, unilaterally declared a 10-hour “humanitarian pause” in the airstrikes and bombings that have rocked eastern Aleppo. Russia’s General Staff Valery Gerasimov announced that the ceasefire would take place between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. on Friday, November 4. Putin said that after destroying countless hospitals and schools filled with children, his troops have become exhausted. “We’re going to need a good 10-hour break to give our boys a rest so they can start slaughtering innocents fresh on Saturday,” he explained.

Russian Soldiers Fatigued from Months of Nonstop Murder

Rebel attacks against territories controlled by Assad’s regime claimed a toll of 84 lives over the weekend, with an additional 280 people wounded. Syria retaliated by cutting off vital supplies, such as food and fuel, and pressuring Russia to increase its airstrikes.

Previous attempts at a truce have deteriorated rapidly, with officials on each side of the conflict accusing the others of violating imposed breaks in hostilities. And amid what human rights experts have derided as hollow banter and renewed saber-rattling, the devastated city of Aleppo continues to crumble.

Russian military analysts observed that the constant fighting has also led to a crumbling fighting force, with morale and stamina eroding under the incessant hours of butchering, maiming and eradicating those in Syria who are displeased with al-Assad. In a statement to the press, one Russian expert clarified the rigors of battle that have influenced the temporary truce:

Genocide is not a random or indiscriminate act. Rather, it’s a coordinated effort to annihilate a specific group of people. In Syria, that would be the Yazidi, other minorities and, interestingly, Syrians who just disagree with al-Assad. There are a lot of moving parts to a successful campaign of genocide, but one fundamental principle applies: in very simplistic terms, kill the women so they can no longer produce more humans in that group, and kill the children so they can’t mature to the age of conceiving or bearing other children. In some cases, attempts are made to relocate kids to the aggressor’s group and indoctrinate them. That doesn’t always go as planned, so slaughter is easiest.

But it’s a great deal of work, involving sleepless nights and a lot of stress on our military personnel. Pathetically armed men on the streets are easy to spot. Women and kids tend to obscure themselves in educational facilities, religious buildings and hospitals. That demands a greater effort.

Russia Hopes More Powerful Weapons Will Ease Burden on Troops

Because Putin’s “humanitarian pause” offers only a temporary rest for weary soldiers, the country is placing new hopes on the introduction of more powerful weapons.

Bunker-buster bombs successfully leveled the M10 hospital this month, a stronghold for injured yet recovering rebels. Much of the structure was situated underground to mitigate damage from never-ending airstrikes.

“Our bombings completely razed a hospital and a few schools. Recently, the enhanced explosives destroyed clean water supplies, leaving would-be opponents deprived of necessary resources,” a Russian military analyst said. “But even the labor required to execute the plan took more man-hours than anticipated. We may opt to roll out some chemical weapons next week. It’s difficult to tell if that will help. Our men in uniform have toiled tirelessly on the frontlines. I can’t even count how many women and children they’ve killed. But out of respect for their needs and their wellbeing, the humane thing to do is pull back and let them rest. Hence, our humanitarian pause.”

If Russia and al-Assad can’t find an effective resolution to the problem of exhausted troops, Putin has intimated that he may leverage his option to “drop the Satan 2 super nuke and be done with it.” His friend, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, encouraged that course of action, code-naming the strategy, “Grabbing Aleppo by the Putin.”

(c) 2016. Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License. All articles are works of satire. See disclaimers.

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