SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- When historians reflect on the first generation of this century, they may write of an era punctuated by strife, with its hallmarks taking the forms of social unrest, divisive politics, crumbling race relations after decades of progress, economic ruin and unprecedented levels of gun-related violence. Of particular concern is the growing perception that police around the country have become militarized, reactionary, rash and belligerent, especially in their treatment of minorities. A sweeping 2014 study of law enforcement practices suggested that suspects may not be resisting police -- they just can’t hear the officers’ orders over the barrage of gunshots and baton blows. A new update to the research expands its findings, confirms the conclusions drawn, and offers practical advice on how police can revise existing policies to remedy the problem.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Two recent shootings of African Americans by police have sparked fresh ire across cities in the South, fueling tense protests and riots. The spate of officer-involved fatalities, many of them dubiously rationalized and almost always targeting members of the black community, remains a disturbing trend. Because this election season is heating up, both presidential candidates understand the need to address the issue and propose remedial actions. Donald Trump, in a rare critique of law enforcement, condemned the September 16 shooting in Tulsa. He then announced his campaign’s alliance with the Southern Caucasians Urban Minority Mission (SCUMM), which teaches black Americans to prevent violent confrontations with racist police officers and NRA members. “Through this initiative, my administration will help keep blacks from provoking cops,” he told reporters.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- September 19 celebrates the swashbuckling spirit of high-seas adventures each year as International Talk Like a Pirate Day. For millions of scoundrels and fo’c’sle swabs, that means donning eyepatches, 17th century frock coats, ornate tricorn hats, plastic hooks and cutlasses, and pledging allegiance to the skull and crossbones of a Jolly Roger. Several businesses partake of the festivities, too. This Saturday, the popular doughnut chain Krispy Kreme is offering a free glazed treat to any landlubber willing to order in the parlance of Blackbeard or Long John Silver. For truly scurvy wenches, scallywags and blackguards who arrive adorned in full pirate garb, Krispy Kreme surrenders a bounty of a dozen doughnuts. However, panic erupted near San Narciso’s waterfront district this morning when hardcore enthusiasts raided the usually low-key bakery and coffeehouse dressed as armed Somali pirates.

Officer Eric Casebolt bravely subdues unarmed, 100-lb black teen without shooting her to death.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A birthday pool party in the affluent Craig Ranch community of McKinney, Texas, erupted in chaos and violence early Friday evening amid accusations of police racism and brutality. The excessive actions of Corporal Eric Casebolt -- which included a lot of profanity, a James T. Kirk-inspired combat roll, tackling scantily clad girls in bikinis who were armed with only towels, and drawing his sidearm on bystanders attempting to peacefully diffuse the aggression -- renewed public outcry about the extreme use of force by police. But Republican lawmakers in the South see the situation differently. According to them, the fact that no unarmed black teens were actually blown to pieces by cops demonstrates “tremendous restraint and progress in the evolution of our peacekeeping policies.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- A new study of suicide among children under 12 has produced some alarming results. Researchers examined records from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which tracks mortality and suicide rates, between the years of 1993 and 2012, targeting kids between five and 11 years old. They found that a total of 657 children took their own lives during that time -- an average of 33 per year. Even more distressing, incidents of suicide among black youths have doubled. The study’s lead author attributed the problem to several factors: increased exposure to violence and traumatic stress, early onset of puberty and depression. “Basically,” he explained, “the closer black youngsters get to reaching their teenage years, the more likely they are to perish at the hands -- and gun barrels -- of white police officers. So, that could account for the increased exposure to violence, depression and so forth.”

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On Tuesday, authorities in South Carolina announced that a 33-year-old police officer will face murder charges for the shooting death of an unarmed black man during a routine traffic stop. North Charleston Officer Michael Slager gunned down Walter Scott, 50, as he ran from the policeman’s drawn pistol. Video of the confrontation, captured by a bystander near the scene, clearly shows that the officer pumped at least eight rounds into Scott’s back. He then cuffed the hands of the corpse. Seizing the opportunity to divert attention away from recent controversies, relieved Republican lawmakers said the South Carolina tragedy settles a longstanding debate on the contentious topic of civil rights: uptight, conservative white people are still more afraid of unarmed black men than gays.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In a rare display of restraint and solidarity, police officers around the nation refrained from gunning down unarmed black children, teens and adults in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which was observed Monday. Based on data compiled from the Fatal Encounters project, approximately 673 African Americans were killed in a hail of police gunfire between 2013 and 2014. But even that figure remains a conservative estimate, as nobody knows precisely how many Americans are slaughtered by frightened patrolmen each year. Criminal justice experts point out that while the federal government and national research groups track mortality figures for unprovoked shark attacks, no reliable data exist to calculate the exact number of people butchered by aggressive police officers each year. With the release of newly obtained footage of Bridgeton, N.J., officers shooting yet another unarmed black man attempting to comply with their orders, peacekeeping agencies around the country assured the public that they will resume their race-based killing sprees soon.

PUBLIC SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- It's that time of year again! The Annual Bennington Vale Christmas Parade is scheduled for Saturday, December 6, 2014. Sidewalks CANNOT be reserved with personal property, which includes unattended children and the elderly, until 5:00 p.m. or 5:30 p.m. if center medians are used. The parade route spans Maxwell Street, Cape Horn Avenue and Tragic Courier’s Way, ending at Lake Inverarity’s Fangoso Lagoons. The estimated duration of the event is three hours.

Special Safety Procedures for Large, Unarmed Black Teens

As a special reminder, due to the increased sensitivity of race relations and the subsequent pressures placed on police agencies across the nation, we ask that all large, slow-moving, unarmed black teens observe heightened safety protocols. A special area has been roped off near the end of the parade route, close to the security station. To avoid confrontations with frightened police officers, always remain seated, preferably on your hands. Do not make any sudden movements, including waving, whistling, smiling, blinking or applauding parade floats and marching bands. Although we advise that you have absolutely nothing in your possession other than identification papers, make sure to have receipts for all items you choose to bring and that they are clearly displayed on the ground beside said items. Remember, by merely standing up you may present a perceived threat to police officers, even from hundreds of feet away.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Halloween should be a spooky, thrilling and safe holiday event for children in San Narciso County. For that reason, the San Narciso Police Department is warning residents that continuing illicit Halloween traditions can be dangerous and may result in jail time. Some residents, as part of celebrating All Hallow’s Eve, have been engaging in dangerous behaviors that include “hogging,” hamster juggling (a no-tolerance offense) and the reprehensible creation of “jack-ov-lanterns” -- a sick practice started two years ago by Russian exchange students that involves bodily defiling pumpkins, which, in light of the Ebola scare, will be considered not only a biohazard but a flagrant act of terrorism. Following is a complete list of Do’s and Don’ts to ensure that you and yours have the best Halloween ever!

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- September 19 celebrates the swashbuckling spirit of high-seas adventures each year as International Talk Like a Pirate Day. For millions of scoundrels and fo’c’sle swabs, that means donning eyepatches, 17th century frock coats, ornate tricorn hats, plastic hooks and cutlasses, and pledging allegiance to the skull and crossbones of a Jolly Roger. Several businesses partake of the festivities, too. This Friday, the popular doughnut chain Krispy Kreme is offering a free glazed treat to any landlubber willing to order in the parlance of Blackbeard or Long John Silver. For truly scurvy wenches, scallywags and blackguards who arrive adorned in full pirate garb, Krispy Kreme surrenders a bounty of a dozen doughnuts. However, panic erupted near San Narciso’s waterfront district this morning when hardcore enthusiasts raided the usually low-key bakery and coffeehouse dressed as armed Somali pirates.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- When historians look back on the rise of the millennial generation, they may define the hallmark of the era as an environment of strife -- social unrest, divisive politics, crumbling race relations after decades of past progress, economic ruin and unprecedented levels of gun-related violence. Of particular concern is the perception that the country’s peace officers have become militarized, reactionary, too quick to act and belligerent, especially around minority suspects. A sweeping study of law enforcement practices released Wednesday sheds new light on the problem: minority suspects may not be resisting police, they just can’t hear the officers’ orders over the barrage of gunshots or baton blows.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The August 9 fatal shooting of unarmed 18-year-old Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo., has revived the national debate on how to deal with African American youth who brandish convenience store items defiantly before authority figures -- Caucasian males with permits to carry firearms. The killing of Brown by police officer Darren Wilson has fueled protests, riots and a renewed focus on the ongoing crisis of race relations in the United States. Because there are at least seven known black households within San Narciso County, the mayor’s office has collaborated with local police and the National Rifle Association (NRA) to issue a list of threatening behaviors and potentially dangerous convenience store purchases to avoid for all unarmed, dark-skinned teenagers. “We strongly urge those in the target demographic to study these tips closely in order to safeguard their well-being during this heightened state of alert,” advised Mayor Manny DiPresso.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Towns all across America lit up with fireworks displays Friday to pay homage to the nation's birth on July 4, 1776, when the Declaration of Independence was signed. But whenever pyrotechnics are involved, accidents are never far behind. Injuries and property damage from poorly staged events regularly make the news each year. That's why the strangest Fourth of July story involves a group of foreign tourists who accidentally ended up in the middle of a gang war in Los Angeles, but found the standoff stimulating, historically educational and absent any injuries or chaos.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The most recent semiannual report released by the Police Assessment Resource Center showed a steady increase in the number of minorities bitten by canine units with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department over the last few years. Although the report cited a lack of adequate supervision from canine handlers, critics and civil rights advocates have accused the department of racially profiling minorities, evident in the prevalence of attacks against non-Caucasians. San Narciso County Police Department spokesperson Ren Williams scoffed at the allegations of racism. "There is no proof whatsoever that dogs have a sense a race, or even comprehend discrimination based on race," he said. "It's a ridiculous and unreasoned attack against these animals."

Tremaine McMillian. (Credit: WSVN-TV)

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- On May 30, Miami-Dade Police officers brutally wrestled 14-year-old Tremaine McMillan to the ground, pinning and choking the black teen who was armed only with a puppy. McMillan's mother recorded the aggressive response on her cell phone. Detective Alvaro Zabaleta justified the use of force, claiming that McMillan was exhibiting threatening body language, which included "dehumanizing stares" and "clenched fists." By all accounts, Tremaine was guilty of nothing more than feeding his puppy, a six-week-old Pit Bull mix named Polo, also injured in the tussle, and playing on the beach with friends. But according to Florida officials, McMillan's arrest provides yet another illustration of larger troubles plaguing the Sunshine State. "To put it bluntly, we're terrified of black people," the Florida GOP confessed Thursday in a press bulletin.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- The hunt across Southern California for rampaging ex-LAPD officer Christopher Dorner took a dramatic turn Tuesday after the fugitive allegedly shot and wounded two sheriff's deputies during firefight in Big Bear, a mountain resort east of Los Angeles. The incident occurred after Dorner resurfaced from hiding to burglarize an area home, tie up the owners and abscond with their pickup truck. Authorities have canvassed numerous locations throughout the state in search of Dorner, pursuing more than 1,000 leads from witnesses about his possible whereabouts. Not only is Dorner a highly trained police officer, he is also a decorated member of the Armed Forces. Last week, Dorner published an 11,000-word manifesto in which he named members of the LAPD as targets in his plot to seek revenge for being discharged from the force in 2008. Dorner has been unusually successful in evading detection and capture, due in large part to his particular experience with and intimate knowledge of police procedures. As a result, many would-be murderers have said they now plan to enlist in the police force to hone their skills and advance their goals.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Lago, Calif., a small town near Mono Lake, has taken the unorthodox step of inviting ex-LAPD murder suspect Christopher Dorner to a picnic. Despite aggressive efforts by many police departments to hunt down Dorner, few results have been produced. Residents admit feeling frightened and inadequately protected, even with the increased police presence and concentration of tactical resources. On Saturday, actor Charlie Sheen made the unusual move of imploring Dorner to call him directly. "You mentioned me in your manifesto, so thank you for your kind words. I am urging you to call me," Sheen said in a video posted on TMZ. "Let's figure out together how to end this thing." Following Sheen's more supportive and peaceful tactic, the mayor of Lago directed every member of his community to decorate the city and prepare an elaborate picnic to lure Dorner out of hiding.

"Believe it or not, this isn't the first time we've had to do something like this out of frustration," said Mayor Mordecai Curtis. "But it worked out well when our forebears tried it back in the late 1800s."

CALABASAS, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Deputies with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department are investigating a complaint from a celebrity photographer that 18-year-old pop sensation Justin Bieber "physically battered" him at an outdoor shopping area Sunday near the exclusive Calabasas community where the Canadian-born singer now resides. Entertainment news source TMZ, citing eyewitness accounts, reported that the confrontation arose when the paparazzo attempted to block Bieber from entering his car with his girlfriend, actress Selena Gomez, 19. Police are withholding the identity of Bieber's victim, as well as the extent of his injuries. Many who observed the altercation described the beating administered by Bieber as "degrading," "thuggish," and emotionally traumatic.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Residents living near the gated Winthrop Manors community adjacent to Bennington Vale no need introduction to Alistair Waldetor. To hear them tell it, the man pioneered the image of the shotgun-wielding curmudgeon who admonishes children, "Get off my lawn!" He abandoned that practice in 1998 when the county passed legislation that restricted the open brandishing of weapons to small firearms only -- a law that remains unpopular and regularly contested. Waldetor now relies on a team of trained military attack dogs, electrified fencing and a "look the other way on registered sex offenders" attitude to keep errant children from his pristine yard.

SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Pinkberry co-founder Young Lee, who was arrested after a confrontation with a homeless person turned violent, pleaded not guilty Monday to charges of assault with a deadly weapon. According to the police report, Young stepped out of his Land Rover at a Los Angeles freeway off-ramp and beat a panhandler with a tire iron. He attempted to justify the attack by claiming the homeless man had disrespected him by exposing a sexually profane tattoo. Young, an architect and former kick boxer, partnered with entrepreneur Shelly Hwang in 2005 to create the Pinkberry franchise, which is famed for its tangy -- almost vinegary -- tasting frozen yogurt. The chain earned an immediate cult following of irony loving celebrities because of its sheer awfulness. Young has been freed on $60,000 bail and is awaiting the March 5 hearing set by the judge. However, in a bizarre and related turn of events, another Pinkberry executive was arrested in San Narciso County late Monday afternoon for what could be a copycat assault on a homeless person.