Thursday, November 3, 2011
Man Accused of Hacking Phones of Scarlett Johansson and Other Celebs Says He Was Simply Interviewing for News International Job
If convicted, the suspect could face 121 years in prison. Before the court this week, he pleaded not guilty and claimed that his actions were, as he was told, a routine part of a job application process for News International.
“Look, I just wanted a simple gig as a copy editor,” the suspect explained. “Starting out small and working my way up, you know? Then this James Murdoch guy comes in after the HR lady and tells me that to work for his paper, I need to pass a little test. One thing led to another, and here I am.”
Although the accused hacker was freed on $110,000 bond, the presiding Los Angeles court judge set a trial date for late December.
“The Nuremberg Defense holds as much saurkraut here as it did in Nuremberg,” the judge said. “The accused knew perfectly well what he was doing. He wasn’t hopped up on spongecake or clever enough to invoke the Chewbacca Defense. He was a small-time journalist looking to the Murdochs for work. Come on.”
The suspect will be allowed to return home, but must wear a monitoring device.
“Funny, James Murdoch told me the same thing,” the man said. “Then he gave me a company cell phone. Weird, right?”
(c) 2011. See disclaimers.