Monday, January 9, 2017

Trump Tells Meryl Streep He Was Attacking “Retarded Press, Not Actual Cripples”


SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Donald Trump may not have attended the 74th Golden Globes ceremony or, as he claimed, even watched it, but his presence took center stage throughout the evening’s festivities. The harsh depictions of Trump’s ineptness as a businessman and political leader culminated with a fiery yet refined speech delivered by Meryl Streep. Among the many shortcomings and frailties she described, Trump’s insulting mimicry of a disabled journalist drew her particular ire. Trump defended the misunderstanding by attacking Streep on Twitter, clarifying that he was making fun of the “retarded press,” not “actual spastics and cripples.”

Golden Globes in the Golden Age of Hate

The 2017 Golden Globes Awards, sponsored by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA), is an annual gathering of Tinseltown’s acting elite. And foreigners. And press. Performers from around the world are honored for their contributions to the motion picture and television arts by 93 members of the HFPA. While accolades were bestowed on several personalities during the night, the specter of one absent celebrity cast its shadow over the entire affair -- Donald Trump.

Award winners and the event’s hosts threw repeated jabs at the president-elect, but none were as impassioned or subtly scathing as those of screen legend Meryl Streep, who delivered her remarks while receiving the prestigious Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement. She replaced her acceptance speech with a thinly veiled attack of Trump, specifically calling out his mocking of a disabled New York Times reporter at a campaign rally in November.

Trump took to Twitter on Monday to blast Streep and defend his position: “I was never mocking people with disabilities, I was pointing out what effing retards the press are.”

Of all the concerns Streep expressed about Trump’s demeanor, she focused on his insensitive and insolent imitation of Serge F. Kovaleski, a Times reporter who suffers from arthrogryposis. In 2015, when confronted by tough questioning from Kovaleski, Trump shuddered and flailed his arms in a manner that seemed to ape Kovaleski’s physical appearance and condition. Trump flatly denied the accusation at the time and then again on Monday.

“I have nothing but sympathy for cripples,” Trump explained. “Even when Dad and I were refusing to hire minorities, we always made room for freaks and pinheads and gimps and dullards. Always hired the lame. They’re just amazing to watch. So much fun. Except when they fall out of their chairs and try to climb back in by themselves. That’s awful. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than a handicap fighting for dignity and independence.”

“But I love the cripples,” he added. “Love them all. Ask anybody who knows me. I have a fantastic record with handicaps. We put special bathrooms for them in all of our casinos. What I don’t like are lying, groveling retards in the press. And that’s the point I was making to that crab-clawed Polack, Kova-whatever-ski. Lying media. And Streep, like the retards in the press, misread the situation and used it to slander me. I’m sure she got a lot of pats on the back. Probably made her wetter than a spastic’s chin.”

Trump Takes Streep to the Streets

Meryl Streep, one of the nation’s most prolific actors, highlighted the diversity of the entertainment industry in her address Sunday night. Hollywood, she observed, has long welcomed actors from all walks of life. More importantly, films help transport people not only into different worlds, but also the experiences of the underrepresented, oppressed, maligned and subjugated. As the Hollywood Reporter wrote:

She echoed Hugh Laurie’s comment about how the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is part of “the most vilified segments in American society right now” -- Hollywood, foreigners and the press. “But who are we, and what is Hollywood anyway? It’s just a bunch of people from other places,” she explained, outlining her New Jersey upbringing, plus the non-Los Angeles backgrounds of Sarah Paulson, Sarah Jessica Parker, Amy Adams, Natalie Portman, Ruth Negga, Viola Davis, Dev Patel and Ryan Gosling. She asked sarcastically, “Where are their birth certificates?”

Streep concluded by calling on entertainment industry members and the free press to stay strong and hold prominent influencers accountable for peddling hate or encouraging discrimination. “When the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose,” she said.

As Mr. Trump told the New York Times early Monday morning by phone, he had not seen Streep’s remarks or the show itself. But he confessed no surprise at coming under fire from “liberal movie people.”

Trump harbors a longstanding disdain for the Hollywood movers-and-shakers who have shunned him. For one thing, he believes the establishment is legitimately run by Jews, which is the justification for his staunch support of Israeli settlements on the West Bank: stifling expansion may entice Jews to return to the United States; ongoing construction could incentivize more to leave. And like Charles Manson, Trump has struggled to ingratiate himself into celebrity circles. However, where Manson killed those who eventually displeased him, Trump has only wished death upon them, or attempted to destroy their lives by way of social media.

Trump’s transition team also continues to meet strong resistance from the entertainment community. Few artists have accepted an invitation to perform at his inauguration. Despite the attitudes of Streep and her like-minded peers, Trump insists that stars are lined up to perform at his event.

“We are going to have an unbelievable, perhaps record-setting turnout for the inauguration, and there will be plenty of movie and entertainment stars,” Mr. Trump told the NYT. “All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration.”

Experts pointed out that surges in fashion purchases likely resulted from A-list celebrities who were preparing to attend President Obama’s farewell fête on January 6. Trump scoffed at the assertion.

“I can’t imagine that high-end designers wanted their apparel coming back with all that darky funk on them,” Trump allegedly told Breitbart reporters. “There were only three times when the white public dressed up to see black people strut and prance around a stage: auctions in the mid-1800s, Vaudeville shows -- and those entertainers were whites wearing makeup -- and the O.J. Simpson trial.”

In Monday’s Twitter tantrum, Trump also called Streep “overrated,” criticized her endorsement of Clinton over a Russian oligarch and then accused her of trying to read his mind. Psychologists have agreed that attempting to divine Trump’s thoughts would be difficult for even trained FBI profilers. Trump, however, has mastered the art, which explains how he knows more about terrorism than military officials or intelligence officers. Using this well-honed psychic acumen, Trump shared his opinions of Streep’s Golden Globes appearance, without having seen the program.

“Meryl Streep is overrated,” Trump posted in a now deleted series of messages. “What an idiot. If Sophie cared about her kids, her choice would have been to join the government party trying to save the country -- not fighting against them. One kid dead, another in a labor camp. Great choice.”

“Kramer v. Kramer, one more example of Streep’s great choices,” another tweet followed. “Selfish, bored woman leaves hard-working man, ruins family, destroys child’s life. Tries to make the husband pay for it all. Just like a woman. Just like Meryl. Would never grab that p***y, no matter how many Oscars it’s touched.”

(c) 2017. Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License. All articles are works of satire. See disclaimers.

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