Celebrity* Andy Dick was arrested again, this time at a restaurant in Temecula, Calif. Officers who responded to the disturbance said Dick was drunk and disorderly.
“He was basically behaving like a Dick. But after eight prior arrests and years of inexplicable celebrity, a crime in itself, we’ve come to expect that,” said one police officer at the scene. “He’s always going to be a Dick. That’s just a part of his nature. And after he gets out of jail, I’m sure he’ll start acting like a Dick in some other place. It’s unfortunate for all the other people who have to be subjected to this.”
*Editor’s Note: The original article erroneously cited Andy Dick as a “comedian.” We have since corrected this mistake.
(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.