Wednesday, May 11, 2011

First Disaster of May 21 Apocalypse Hits Spain

LORCA, Spain -- As Harold Camping’s eschatology theories of a May 21 apocalypse near, the first in the prophesied series of disasters has come to pass in Spain. Nations around the world extended condolences to the Spanish people over the tragedy. The extreme fundamentalist Christian followers of Harold Camping, however, were said to be thrilled with news of the incident (read the original Harold Camping article here).

A 5.2 magnitude earthquake, felt from Alicante to Madrid, destroyed several buildings on Wednesday, including a medieval church bell tower. It was the worst earthquake to hit Spain in over 50 years.

Authorities confirmed that at least ten people had died, including a 13-year-old child.

A spokesperson for Family Stations, the Christian radio network responsible for promoting the May 21 End of Days prediction, said that Harold Camping, the group’s president, was “exceedingly pleased.”

The representative also described Camping as pleasantly surprised with the disaster, exclaiming, “Holy crap, I was right this time?”

For continuing coverage of the planet’s last days, check the “Countdown to the End Time” section of the paper.

(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.

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