Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Trump Surprisingly Endorses Clinton’s Mandatory Sex Change Plan


SAN NARCISO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- In what sounds like a page from dystopian fiction, conservative columnist David Horowitz speculated that a Hillary Clinton presidency would lead to “mandated sex change operations.” In Horowitz’s bizarre and inexplicable rant, he warned that Clinton could impose these procedures as early as 2020. The proposal sent shockwaves of consternation through conservative channels, but Donald Trump admitted that he endorses the policy: “If Hillary is set on turning girlie men into actual girls, it’s a great plan. A terrific plan.”

More "The Wanting Seed," Less "1984"

Shortly after the Horowitz article appeared in Sunday’s edition of Conservative Review, former presidential contender Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) linked to the post on his Twitter account, although representatives denied his involvement.

Cruz, in 2013, attacked the Death Panel clause in Obama’s Affordable Care Act as a way to “execute an entire generation of voters who oppose his policies of equal opportunity, civil rights and gay marriage.” Clinton’s plan to enforce sexual reassignment surgeries would offer a softer, more palatable and less politically exclusive approach to population control -- something climate scientists believe is the key to combatting global warming.

“By that point, we will have mandated sex change operations,” Horowitz cautions. “Heck, our own military during a time of war and internal morale crisis has already published a handbook on sex changes. We simply don’t have the time to continue down this failed path. We’ve already been in the wilderness for 27 years.”

The underlying rationale for this prediction remains a mystery, but it seems as though Horowitz took his cue from The Wanting Seed, a dystopian novel penned by Anthony Burgess, more famously recognized as the author of A Clockwork Orange.

The driving theme of the book is overpopulation and its effects on culture, society and religion. During the first act, overcrowding has severely depleted resources, forcing people to reuse materials, live in cramped conditions and eventually resort to state-sponsored cannibalism, in the form canned foodstuffs that government officials call “tinned pork.”

The society also witnesses, and encourages, active discrimination against heterosexuals. Homosexuality in the story is praised as a means of curbing population growth.

If Horowitz is right, Hillary Clinton’s strategy may mirror specific elements of Burgess’ dark vision. President Obama’s Death Panels failed to earn much support. The idea of eliminating the elderly and infirm through mass euthanasia, reminiscent of Logan’s Run, came across as too drastic, inhumane and, ultimately, inefficient. Clinton’s plan brings some of the compassion back to population control. It removes a dedicated number of breeders from the equation, requires no government-sanctioned slaughters and targets individuals whose behaviors run contrary to their genders -- so, effeminate males and masculine females.

Trump Fully Endorses Mandatory Sex Changes

Donald Trump, in a surprise announcement Tuesday, threw his unwavering support behind the measure. In a prepared statement, he wrote:

Crooked Hillary and I don’t agree on most everything. She’s rigging the election, she’s accusing me of rape and she’s a fat, ugly broad. But if this compulsory sex change thing is real, I have to admit I’m behind her. Not like at the debate, where I was stalking her and checking out her doughy bottom. Hell, I’d vote for her. We got a real problem with the gays in this country. If Hillary is set on turning girlie men into actual girls, it’s a great plan. A terrific plan. Instead of being sexually useless men, they become useful functioning women. Maybe hot women, I’ve seen some of the gays and they’re quite fit and pretty. It’d be great grabbing a handful of p***y instead of crotch stuffed with d**k.

The comment drew immediate criticism from conservatives and GOP officials. Trump’s wife, Melania, defended her husband as she has done recently before the scrutiny of the press. During an interview with Anderson Cooper -- one of Clinton’s primary targets for mandatory sex change -- Melania brushed off Trump’s sexual predation and abusive banter as “boy talk.”

“Sometimes I say I have two boys at home: I have my young son, and I have my husband,” the third Mrs. Trump explained with a chuckle. “But I know how some men talk, and that’s how I saw it, yes.”

Melania offered additional insights to the relationship in an attempt to dispel allegations that her husband has acted on his impulses or offensive rhetoric.

“I am positive Donald has not done anything to these cow women,” she said. “We have been married 11 years, and Donald has never touched me.”

When questioned about the birth of her son Barron, age 5, Melania confessed that her pregnancy resulted from a sort of artificial insemination. Because of Donald Trump’s abnormally diminutive penis size, he hired medical scientists to rig an elaborate Rube Goldberg device that could milk the semen from his amorphous body and transport it through a series of tubes and chutes to Melania’s fertile ova.

(c) 2016. Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License. All articles are works of satire. See disclaimers.