We regret the French airline industry’s shameful history of scheduling problems, but a two-year layover in the Atlantic is unacceptable even to us. In the future, we will be changing our flight routes and adhering more strictly to realistic schedules. We also now understand that the success of the Chunnel applies only to trains. In practice, as we have come to learn, the concept does not translate well to air transit. From this day forward, our planes will stay above sea level while flights are under way. We will also take greater pains to ensure that all courses plotted, by default, are round-trip. We understand that you have choices when selecting air carriers, and...I’m sorry, I don’t even know how to follow that up.
(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.