Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Bodies of 104 Air France Travelers to Reach Paris After “Rare” Two-Year Stopover

French Air Line Industry Apologizes for World’s Longest Flight Delay

PARIS, France -- The bodies of 104 passengers of an Air France flight that touched down unexpectedly in the Atlantic Ocean two years ago will finally arrive in France on Thursday. In a statement released to the press on Wednesday, French aviation officials apologized to the families for the long delay:

We regret the French airline industry’s shameful history of scheduling problems, but a two-year layover in the Atlantic is unacceptable even to us. In the future, we will be changing our flight routes and adhering more strictly to realistic schedules. We also now understand that the success of the Chunnel applies only to trains. In practice, as we have come to learn, the concept does not translate well to air transit. From this day forward, our planes will stay above sea level while flights are under way. We will also take greater pains to ensure that all courses plotted, by default, are round-trip. We understand that you have choices when selecting air carriers, and...I’m sorry, I don’t even know how to follow that up.

(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.