Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Saudi Billionaire Ironically Contracts with Bin Laden Group to Build World’s Largest Tower

JEDDAH, Saudi Arabia. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal revealed plans Tuesday to construct the world’s tallest tower in the port city of Jeddah, signing a $1.23 billion contract with the Bin Laden Group -- an organization whose founding members have historically offered expertise only in tower demolitions. The proposed structure would exceed 1,000 meters in height and take more than five years to complete. Prince Alwaleed said the tower would serve as a political and economic symbol to the world that Saudis invest in their people. The Jeddah tower will include a hotel, serviced apartments, luxury condominiums and business offices. Investors in the region speculate that the project came in response to growing complaints of urban decay combined with massive housing demands from recent population explosions.

“It is a project undertaken in the spirit of pride,” one international land rights expert said. “But the Saudis will need to be careful about avoiding the transition into meaningless vanity or hubris. I mean, the last time a Middle Eastern group of people attempted to build a tower of this magnitude, an unexplained global communications failure occurred, which took thousands of years to resolve. But more than that, I worry about the decision to partner with the Bin Laden Group on this project. In my experience, the Bin Ladens have a horrendous track record around tall buildings that serve as monuments to opulence and commerce.”

(c) 2011. All stories are works of satire and parody.