In 1985, Jimmy Buffett, a former musician with a single hit song, turned his mediocre career around when he began merchandising alcoholic beverage wares. Although Buffett had little talent for musical composition, he discovered an uncanny knack for building a devoted following of consumers who were willing to buy just about anything. Because margaritas, a tequila-based fruit drink, figured so prominently in the lyrics of Buffett’s one memorable song, he decided to base his entire business model on the drink. To date, Buffett owns several margarita-themed cafes, hotels, casinos, and products used in the manufacturing of the libation.
Obama, admittedly not a fan of Buffet’s music, says he is intrigued by Buffett’s marketing savvy.
“I think we share similar goals here,” the President said. “Both of us had one good idea, but Jimmy has found a way to spin that off a million different ways. Really, all he offers is a fancy blender, some re-branded mixers and tequila, and the promise of being part of a niche consumer group that will keep buying what is essentially the same product over and over again. This is where America could find its stride. We need to get people back into the idea of change they can believe in. But at the same time, we need to keep pushing the same agendas of health care reform, job growth, and economic stimulation while getting the public to forget about tough issues like gay marriage, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Wall Street reform, immigration, tax cuts for wealthy conservatives and government transparency. I don’t want to face down another bitter supporter like that Velma Hart woman, who told me she was exhausted defending my policies. I mean, she got laid off from her job the day before Thanksgiving. Can you imagine how she feels about me now? What she needs is a stiff drink, metaphorically speaking, and I need help concocting one.”